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Larry Miller Show

Put That Shirt on A Fat Dummy (Rebroadcast)

Larry Miller Show

Jeff Fox

Shepherd, Garrison, Booze, Keillor, Guffman, Prarie, Hangovers, Larry, Improv, Home, Jean, Comedy, Miller, Companion, Drunk

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 25 July 2012

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Larry is smitten with Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Scarlett Johansson. Will his love be requited, even though the top of his head is missing?Larry talks about how hard modeling is. Don't hate him because he's beautiful. Then we hear about a woman who wouldn't believe that Larry was Larry and why you shouldn't bother starting a diet until after the Super Bowl.And we have a new update, the update update. Is this the update to end all updates? Or is it no update at all? (A gong rings in the distance.)That's it? You're done reading the episode description? Doesn't surprise me. You've done nothing but complain since you got here.Quote of the week: "This way, no one knows you're bald."

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi folks I'm Larry Miller but in a way aren't we all and here's the good news this is real and Colonel Jeff and Dr Chris and I just record this to let you know I'm really good I'm fine I'm okay but I may not be back for a while so Colonel Jeff and Dr Chris have been

0:15.3

bringing me all the cards and letters you've written and I want you to know they mean

0:18.4

a lot to me they mean so much to me you mean a lot to me you mean a lot to them

0:22.4

and I hope we mean the same thing to you.

0:24.4

It's very gratifying to know that we've started to really build something here.

0:28.6

We can't wait to do it again. You're the best listeners a guy like me could ever wish for. So remember until we come back

0:34.5

if you walked out of bed today and had a job to go to and a home to come back to and

0:39.6

someone there who cares about you folks the game's over and you've won and that's

0:44.5

still the truest thing I know I hope it is for all of us forever so until my

0:49.0

return remember Homer is Homer Pluto is a, and what do you ask every bad bartender in the world?

0:57.0

Nominem quit Jeminus? That's Latin for, you call that a double? Still works beautifully. I'll be seeing you soon and the colonel and

1:05.1

the doctor send you their fondest hello's by from level five city in Glendale it's this week with Larry Miller Good evening Mr. and Mrs. America and everyone who loves being lectured.

1:37.0

Hi folks, welcome back to this week with Larry Miller I'm Larry Miller but in a way aren't we all and

1:46.8

Don't they sound good as always of course that's the Jordan Zimmerman orchestra and the Denise and

1:51.8

Sans dancers featuring boy Tinner Mike Binder asking

1:56.0

the musical question. If you try to fail but you succeed, which have you done?

2:02.3

Oh succeed, which have you done?

2:03.0

Oh, well, Grasshopper, when you can snatch the pebble from my hand, time for you to leave.

2:11.0

Isn't that great though that if you try to fail but you succeed, which have you done?

2:16.8

And the reason it's so terrific is that I'm not sure I get it.

2:20.5

You know what I mean?

2:21.5

It's just, it's one of those things that's sounds very wise in fact it sounds like fortune cookies used to be

...

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