Podcast #359: A-Holes in Space

Drunk Ex-Pastors

Christian Kingery

Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.7 • 566 Ratings

🗓️ 26 July 2021

⏱️ 102 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors with a breakdown of opening weekend at the Well & Table (Hint: It went great!). Christian then tells a dad joke that Jason doesn't get until it is explained to him (those are the best kind of jokes). We hear from an angry caller who apparently doesn't like comedy, and then spend the remainder of the episode debating the merits of billionaires going to space. Both biebers involve banks.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Pastors, congratulations, okay, you did it.
0:04.0	You have a restaurant and you are restaurant people now, okay.
0:10.0	So I want to come to your restaurant, I want to see this place.
0:14.0	I know the best food, I've seen the best food, so I want to compare your food,
0:19.0	I'm going to come there someday, okay? Anyway, congratulations. Pastors, you did it. Dude, like Trump is calling about your restaurant. He's not invited. That's crazy. You can't come. You can't. We don't serve your kind here. We don't serve steak with, well done with ketchup. Yeah. And we don't have Big
0:37.9	Max or Kentucky Fried Chicken. So take your fat fucking piece of shit ass somewhere else.
0:46.4	I did run food yesterday and it was a medium steak. But then I ran it and it was like a 12 year
0:52.7	old kid. And like that's fine. Like you're the parents are responsible for this. You're not teaching the kid correctly. But when I was 12, I think I thought medium well was the best way to eat a steak. I mean, some steak, sometimes a ribeye. I don't mind a ribeye medium, you know? Really? Yeah, it just depends. Usually I go medium rare. But I mean, sometimes medium. Yeah, to me, anybody who doesn't order a steak in medium rare is some sort of phyllis. Yeah, that's the number one best way to order it. And then rare is the second best. Medium is like you don't trust the restaurant. But I have had steaks that are just so rare that it's just chewy.
1:29.1	You're just chewing and chewing and chewing.
1:30.6	Rare should be tender.
1:31.7	If you have a good steak, the rare should be like super tender.
1:35.5	Well, I think like a filet rare would be one thing, but a rib eye would be just really chewy.
1:42.1	You know?
1:43.1	Yeah.
1:43.5	Anyway, right now we have our steak option is a 12-ounce rib eye with the demiglays. From Royal Farms. From Royal Farms. From Royal Farms. In Royal City, Washington. Yeah. The cow was named Bessie. She had a great life. She got... She was happy when she died. She was going to sacrifice her life for the... The farmer employed a Swedish masseuse to massage Becky, Bessie, every day of her life while playing the violin.
2:05.2	We had Yo-Yo Ma playing the violin so that she died peacefully and happily.
2:09.7	I'm going to use that.
2:10.7	$700 for a 12-ounce.
2:12.6	The next time I serve a table, I'm going to use that line with the restaurant.
2:17.4	It's all yours.
2:18.0	Yeah.
2:19.1	Yeah.
	...

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