Podcast #127: Magic, Millennials, and Movies in Heaven
Drunk Ex-Pastors
Christian Kingery
4.7 • 566 Ratings
🗓️ 12 December 2016
⏱️ 110 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Episode #127 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a description of perhaps the most harrowing dream ever, after which we consider a conservative prophet's doomsday deadline for Obama to finally accomplish the insidious plans he's been hatching for the last eight years. We discuss whether David Blaine is a master illusionist, fraud, or minion of the underworld. We take voicemails from a Millennial listener about the financial challenges her generation faces, another about whether heaven will suck because there'll be no Netflix or weed, and still another about whether marriage just gets in the way of true love. Christian's "Feeding Friendsy" asks whether God needs to be dictated to, prayer-wise, and Jason's "Dick Move, God" segment demonstrates just how far the Lord will go to pull off an object lesson. Christian is biebered by dubious clickbait math, while Jason's bieber has to do with (you guessed it) fixing what ain't broke.
Also, Slenderman meets the Ring girl who crawled out of that well? Just peed myself….
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, I'm Fiona Stelman, Christian's best friend's daughter. |
| 0:09.3 | For some reason, my dad likes doing this podcast, and you like listening to it, but I'm not allowed to. |
| 0:15.6 | If you want them to keep doing the show, they need your support. |
| 0:19.9 | Become a Patreon. |
| 0:21.9 | By going to patreon. |
| 0:25.3 | com slash drunk ex-pastors and pledging money for each episode. |
| 0:32.3 | When you shop online for Legos, do it at Amazon.com slash drunk ex-pastors. |
| 0:39.3 | You can donate on PayPal and write them a five-store review on iTunes and tell my dad how awesome he is. |
| 0:47.3 | Or you could just send them whiskey. |
| 0:50.3 | This stuff doesn't just fall out of the sky for free like manna from heaven, you know. |
| 0:56.0 | And now, here they are. |
| 0:58.0 | My dad, Jason, and the other bulbed guy. |
| 1:01.0 | You're a drunk ex-pastors. |
| 1:04.0 | Hey drunk ex-masters. |
| 1:07.0 | Uh, I vaguely remember sending you a voicemail last night. I was stunk, drunk, and I don't remember what I said, but I don't remember it being all that good. |
| 1:17.2 | So to be a favor, don't play it. |
| 1:19.0 | Thanks. |
| 1:19.9 | We won't play it because we don't want to embarrass you about being drunk the night before. |
| 1:24.9 | We won't let anybody know. |
| 1:26.3 | Yeah. |
| 1:26.7 | Yeah, well, now we're going to play it, though, right? No. We're not? No. Dude. He does call his fucking idiots in it. Really? Yeah, which usually gets your voicemail played. But no, he was, um, he was basically arguing against everything I said about why you can't, why people can't get out of a car if it's Oh, yeah, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But my thing as dumb as it may have sounded was actually pretty well researched because that day when I had been thinking about doing that for a Bieber for a long time. And your Bieber was you hate it on TV and movies when somebody drives a car into the lake or something. When Bieber was like, why can't people get out of a car that's in the water? |
| 2:02.0 | Like, why is it so hard? |
... |
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