This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a couple aborted attempts by a listener at leaving us a voicemail, after which we do a shot of something so vile that one of the DXPs almost defiles a wastebasket. We take another call that confirms the fears of virtually all anti-pot people (the dude was "on a mountain" in more ways than one). Jason is challenged on his cavalier attitude toward a possible Trump presidency, and the subject of male birth control is debated: Is the resistance to it among men due to their simply being weaker than women? The conversation takes many turns, any of which will possibly piss off hundreds of people. We take another call about whether the practice of rating women on a scale from 1 – 10 contributes to rape culture, but the call wasn't even from a hot chick so we pay it as little attention as possible. Our "Dick Move, God" segment makes its triumphant return, focusing on sliced up wieners and the price a man pays for rape (50 shekels, which is pretty darn steep is you ask us). Christian is biebered by what happens after a man pees in a public restroom, while Jason's bieber concerns (gasp!) the parking of cars.

Also, can a white woman get diarrhea on TV for once, please?