Please Send Horse Tranquilizers

Bitch Bible

PodcastOne

Talk Radio, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.6 • 14.6K Ratings

🗓️ 29 June 2021

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jackie is back restless and guestless and is in the mood to go off the fucking rails. She discusses #freebritney, talks shit about influencer families and her impending cancellation.

Produced By Dear Media

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a deer media production.
0:16.8	She's back. She's solo. She's in solitary confinement. It's 5.23 am. Let's fuck shit up.
0:25.7	My house is shaking. Poor Andrew is entering his fifth rem cycle. You know, I woke up this morning
0:32.0	and I just had this epiphany. I feel like I've been kind of working my ass off and I think it's
0:38.2	a defense mechanism. I feel like it's a defense mechanism. This whole ideal that, you know, I'm so lazy
0:49.8	and I just do that in case I get canceled or to justify my flexible schedule or maybe it's just
0:54.4	an extension of my life philosophy of reverse psychology so that I can evoke the image, the
1:02.0	image that I'm phoning it in. But it's almost fucking leo season and I'm over it. Okay.
1:07.6	Homegirl's been working. The lights never dim. She is operating on all cylinders all the time
1:13.5	and social misconduct is my fucking gasoline. I want to kick it up a couple fucking notches.
1:20.3	Your girl's been tame. Okay. And now on the press epist of leo season, somebody let this hungry
1:28.4	lion out of the fucking cage and let's go. This is terrible to say, but I feel like the most high
1:35.4	functioning version of myself when I'm just a little bit angry and a little bit vitriolic.
1:42.1	You know, and currently I'm feeling both visceral and toxic, but also like fun and lighthearted,
1:48.6	but also ready to fuck shit up and put this bitch into overdrive. So get a horse tranquilizer
1:53.2	and some sage up your vagina because it's going to be a bender. I just, you know, I can't help it.
2:00.4	Narcissism 101. I love solo episodes. Nothing but me, my thoughts and the open road. Just a rise,
2:08.1	grind, and annihilate kind of hoe. No limits. Just the impending cancellation ahead. Ooh,
2:14.1	tempt me with a good time. And honestly, I have so much energy this morning. I don't know what
2:20.2	happened. I got like nine and a half hours of sleep last night. I've been putting her down a
2:24.9	little early. I've been waking up at 5 a.m. I don't really know why. The sun is rising. So is,
2:30.8	so is she. And I've been turning in about like 939 45 and it's been the biggest game changer.
	...

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