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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Pimping Podcast Producers | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.723.6K Ratings

🗓️ 29 December 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

SPONSORS: - New Year, New Me! Get Huel for FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF with this exclusive offer for New Customers only with code BEARS at https://huel.com/bears (Minimum $75 purchase). The Winter Bears Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another completely unhinged takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer nowhere to be found, the guys openly admit they once again didn’t prepare, and then immediately spiral into bread rankings, prostate exams, STD horror stories, religion, celebrity gossip, and the most deranged podcast business ideas ever pitched. From focaccia-based trauma, to almost doing business with Jeffrey Epstein’s brother, this episode goes fully off the rails and never checks the map again. Hit subscribe, brace yourself, and remember: this episode exists only because someone might need it someday. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:38 - Fat Boy Pastry Shop 00:07:42 - Just The Tip 00:11:53 - Sexually Transmitted Hilarity 00:25:13 - Family 00:31:15 - Third World Fun & Legendary Funbags 00:35:13 - Pimping Podcast Producers 00:43:42 - Doing Business With An Epstein 00:54:16 - Health Corner 01:01:52 - In Conclusion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

100%

0:01.2

Cheers.

0:05.3

What's up, everybody?

0:06.9

Welcome back to another episode of winter bears.

0:11.6

I am Chris Stefano.

0:13.1

This is Stavey Baby.

0:14.3

We are taking over for Tom and Burt.

0:18.7

Once again, we did the summer bears.

0:20.2

We are reluctantly begrudgingly doing it. We're trying to get the show off the rails. No, no, I'm doing with a smile on my face. I'm just not trying at all. Yes. And people didn't really think we were trying by the end of last time. This will be worse. This is worse. We have maybe four talking points. We didn't prepare. It's early. I haven't had anything to eat and then I had just more sugar. I'm literally crashing. Right. I might just have a... I might fall into a diabetic coma. Yes. The Jets are currently beating the Ravens seven to nothing in the moment right now. It's going to be really funny when this comes out in like six months. Yeah. They these in like a bank of like, if Bert has a heart attack, they'll put one of these out. You know what I mean? These aren't even anchored to any time. They're just like, whatever, man, we just need back. We never know when we need, we might need a substitute episode. Yeah, yeah, just, you know, Bert's been dead for a year and Leanne's just trying to get

1:13.2

the money because she realized Bert screwed up the will. Yeah, they're trying to make it seem like

1:17.4

they're not trying to announce his death until they can backdate really a huge life insurance

1:22.1

policy on Bert. Yeah, Bert. Actually, for real, I would be shocked if YMH is not working on just AI podcasting, where they

1:32.0

can just plug all the stories Bert and Tom have told.

1:35.3

They're not even going to need us.

1:36.6

You have no idea how low on the priority list.

1:39.3

I respect that.

1:40.3

This podcast is for Tom and Bert.

1:43.3

I mean, literally Tom opened up a croissant shop called like Geo Bamba something, La La Bamba.

1:50.7

It's like, it means fat little boy in Italian.

1:53.2

He said, I'd rather bake croissants than do the podcast.

1:57.2

Something has no expertise.

1:58.8

No, which is actually, I mean, it's here.

...

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