Nothing Natural

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Callin, Humor, Aperol, Arts, Comedian, Entertainment, Advice, Personal572339, Funny, Instagram, Hotline, Female, Comedy, Heathermcmahon

4.9 • 13.6K Ratings

🗓️ 2 July 2025

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode, Heather is on the up and up after the events of the last few weeks. She chats about how turtles and cardinals are now showing up as signs, what it was like 100 years ago, and how she plans to spend her time in Europe. While her life may be hectic right now, she turns to your voicemails to bring her back to reality. She hears about Louisiana gay uncles, how comfortable people have gotten in public and totally unhinged church facebook group requests.

Episode Sponsors:

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.9	The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
0:04.5	Honey, if you're doing a barbecue this weekend, you're only whipping out the best, the best, and that's that Duke's Mayo.
0:09.9	Welcome to Duke's country, honey.
0:11.6	It's mayo with Southern Twain, zero sugar, all flavor, and a cult following for a reason.
0:17.5	Grab the jar with the yellow lid and taste what you've been missing.
0:20.8	Growing up, my grandmother
0:21.9	from Arkansas would only allow us to use Dukes. My daddy only had Dukes. We only have Dukes in the
0:27.8	damn house. And I've tried every mayonnaise under the sun. And this is the one baby. It's got twang. She is
0:32.9	creamy. She is iconic. And she's giving deviled egg realness. Duke's Mayo has zero sugar, so I can slap it on anything and still feel like a hot, chaotic
0:41.4	health queen.
0:42.6	I need a mayo that supports my delusions and my snack habits, and Duke gets me, baby.
0:48.7	If I show up to the cookout and there's not a jar, Duke's inside, I'm leaving, immediately.
0:52.3	No questions asked.
0:53.6	Absolutely not. The yellow lid is my North Star in the grocery aisle,. Duke's inside. I'm leaving immediately. No questions asked. Absolutely not.
0:54.9	The yellow lid is my North Star in the grocery aisle. And Duke's isn't just mail. It's a southern legacy.
0:59.7	Like Dolly or good pair of Spanks, baby, Duke's is it. And if you're making a tomato sandwich with anything but Dukes, I'm judging from afar, but loudly.
1:08.4	Okay? It's the one chef's use. It's the one grandma swear by. So you two
1:16.1	should use Dukes. Find Dukes Mayo at your local retailer. And if it's not there, riot, of course,
1:21.7	respectfully. Visit Dukesmao.com for more information. Again, you can get it at Publix, Harris Teeters,
1:30.5	Food Lion, Kroger, Walmart, Target, H.E.B.
1:36.6	Albertsons all over. Duke's Mayo. It truly changes the game. And if you're having a cookout this weekend and there's not Duke's there,
1:39.8	I'm not coming. Again, go to dukesmao.com for more information. Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most and the least at this same damn time.
	...

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