My Husband Looks At Women On Instagram. Is That Cheating?
Lights On with Carl Lentz
B-Side
4.8 • 797 Ratings
🗓️ 18 February 2026
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura tackle five questions most couples are too afraid to say out loud: Is watching pornographic Instagram accounts cheating? What do you do when your husband's porn addiction has shut down your sex life completely? How do you find a godly partner after everything you've been through? Is your wife overreacting after an emotional affair – and can you even ask that? And does it really take this long to be fully honest after betrayal?
The answer to all of them will challenge everything you think you know about loyalty, intimacy, and what real honesty actually costs.
Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey through betrayal, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth: most couples aren't fighting about the wrong things. They're avoiding the right conversation entirely. Whether it's a husband defending his Instagram habits, a wife starving for physical closeness while her husband battles porn-induced erectile dysfunction, or a betrayed spouse wondering if her reaction is too much – the pattern is always the same. Clarity gets delayed. Pain gets prolonged. And both people slowly stop trusting.
Laura shares what it's like to carry shame you didn't earn, and why a wife's confidence has nothing to do with her husband's addiction. Carl delivers the message most betraying spouses need to hear: you don't get to decide what your partner can handle. Full disclosure isn't a punishment. It's the only road back.
From the "If it's not a big deal, stop doing it" challenge that silences every deflection, to why two weeks is approximately enough time to finish a Netflix show – not repair a marriage – to the 24-hour honesty rule that rebuilt theirs, this episode delivers practical truth for anyone willing to stop surviving and start connecting.
This episode will challenge any couple still negotiating how much truth is enough.
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Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Lights on podcast sponsored by Better Help. |
| 0:04.0 | Sometimes it can feel like everybody else has it all together in their love lives, whether married, dating, single. |
| 0:10.6 | The truth is, most of us are still trying to figure it out and find our way. |
| 0:15.1 | And no matter where you are on your romantic journey, therapy can really help you find your way, |
| 0:20.5 | help you determine what you want and what feels heavy and how you can take some pressure off yourself, especially with February upon us full of flowers, candy, overpriced chocolate, stuffed animals. |
| 0:31.4 | And of course, you know there's going to be a lot of talk about relationships and dating. |
| 0:35.7 | Just know wherever you are, married, dating, single, or just |
| 0:39.0 | focusing on you, you are right on time. Therapy can help you grow and all the relationships in |
| 0:45.2 | your life will benefit from a better you. Laura and I have talked at length about the important role |
| 0:50.4 | therapy has had in our relationship and in our marriage. And if you want to address some patterns and talk about what might be weighing you down relationally, therapy can help you |
| 0:58.4 | identify what's really going on, what might be getting in the way and help you see things in a new |
| 1:03.5 | light. Better help is the place to go. They have quality therapists who work according to a really |
| 1:09.2 | strict code of conduct and they're fully licensed |
| 1:11.4 | in the U.S. with over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy |
| 1:17.7 | platform having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 |
| 1:24.6 | out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. |
| 1:30.8 | So sign up today. You can get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash lights on. That's better help |
| 1:38.1 | H-E-L-P.com slash lights on. |
| 1:47.1 | Lights on podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. |
| 1:51.9 | Sometimes it can feel like everybody else has it all together in their love lives, |
| 1:54.0 | whether married, dating, single. |
| 1:58.2 | The truth is, most of us are still trying to figure it out and find our way. |
... |
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