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Lights On with Carl Lentz

We Answered Your Hardest Marriage Questions. Nothing Was Off Limits.

Lights On with Carl Lentz

B-Side

Society & Culture, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 797 Ratings

🗓️ 11 February 2026

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com

In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura do something brand new: they open the inbox and answer real questions from real people navigating the hardest seasons of their marriages. No scripts. No filter. Just honest, experience-backed responses to the emails and DMs that have been flooding in for years.

Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey through betrayal, rebuilding, and recovery, Carl and Laura tackle four gut-wrenching listener questions—and don't hold back. From a wife whose husband is weaponizing scripture after years of infidelity, to a man whose wife refuses to cut off the affair partner, to a woman whose unfaithful husband expects love after doing the bare minimum—this episode exposes the patterns that keep broken marriages stuck and the truths that set people free.

Laura shares the exact daily check-in framework—physically, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually—that became a cornerstone of their rebuilding process, including the words that were completely off the table. Carl delivers the standard every betrayer needs to hear: not cheating anymore doesn't earn you credit. That's the minimum. The minimum is over and above.

From why "God hates divorce" is not a weapon, to the "two truths" tool that has carried Laura through five years of healing, to why consistency over years matters more than heroic effort over months—this episode delivers the kind of counsel most people can't find anywhere else.

This episode will challenge anyone who believes change is proven by words instead of time, fruit, and evidence.

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Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

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Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/


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Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

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Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com


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CHAPTERS:

00:00 We're Doing Something New

02:17 What Are Daily Check-Ins After Betrayal?

05:58 The Words We Banned From Our Check-Ins

09:30 When Should Reconciliation Stop Being An Option?

13:04 How Do You Actually Know Someone Has Changed?

17:06 God Behind Bars Partnership

17:39 Should Contact With The Affair Partner Be Cut Off?

23:40 Feelings Don't Lead – Principles Do

25:41 My Husband Isn't Going Above And Beyond

30:11 Plana Partnership

30:33 Is There Hope For Change After Betrayal?

35:43 The Two Truths Tool That Changed Everything

39:18 Consistency Is The Only Proof That Matters

46:54 Final Thoughts: Nobody Is Too Far Gone



See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Lights on podcast sponsored by Better Help.

0:04.0

Sometimes it can feel like everybody else has it all together in their love lives, whether married, dating, single.

0:10.6

The truth is, most of us are still trying to figure it out and find our way.

0:15.1

And no matter where you are on your romantic journey, therapy can really help you find your way,

0:20.5

help you determine what you want and what feels heavy and how you can take some pressure off yourself, especially with February upon us full of flowers, candy, overpriced chocolate, stuffed animals.

0:31.4

And of course, you know there's going to be a lot of talk about relationships and dating.

0:35.7

Just know wherever you are, married, dating, single, or just

0:39.0

focusing on you, you are right on time. Therapy can help you grow and all the relationships in

0:45.2

your life will benefit from a better you. Laura and I have talked at length about the important role

0:50.4

therapy has had in our relationship and in our marriage. And if you want to address some patterns and talk about what might be weighing you down relationally, therapy can help you

0:58.4

identify what's really going on, what might be getting in the way and help you see things in a new

1:03.5

light. Better help is the place to go. They have quality therapists who work according to a really

1:09.2

strict code of conduct and they're fully licensed

1:11.4

in the U.S. with over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy

1:17.7

platform having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9

1:24.6

out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews.

1:30.8

So sign up today. You can get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash lights on. That's better help

1:38.1

H-E-L-P.com slash lights on.

1:47.1

Lights on podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

1:51.9

Sometimes it can feel like everybody else has it all together in their love lives,

1:54.0

whether married, dating, single.

1:58.2

The truth is, most of us are still trying to figure it out and find our way.

...

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