You're listening to the Impact Theory Podcast, your source of empowering ideas and actionable techniques from the world's highest achievers. Join host Tom Billiou, serial entrepreneur and co-founder of the Billion Dollar Brand Quest Nutrition on a journey to unlock your potential and realize your vision of success. Welcome to Impact Theory. Hello everybody, I'm with Tong. So sadly he's actually on a call right now and because his business he had to take the call. So I am now live on his Facebook page. I've hijacked his page and I didn't want to be by myself. So one of the teammates gave me the phone so that he could be with me as I start introducing the episode and as I start talking and this is my first time going live by myself so you can have to give me some thumbs up, some hearts, some, yeah, some more comments. I got someone saying hello, okay so I'm just going to keep going and I figured hey I could do the episode without him, hopefully he'll join me in about five minutes, but in case he doesn't, I'm just going to keep going. So today's episode, I actually was going to open the episode with a joke that we actually had an argument about money and that's why I'm doing this episode by myself. But yeah, I figured that wasn't actually really funny. So here we are. So I read a stat a couple days ago about and I'm going to actually put this down so if you don't mind I'm gonna be down. Yeah, alright So I read a stat the other day the basically said that the number one cause of divorce is money and so I thought wow Like I had no idea that it was that Strong I guess in people's relationships where they just can't come to an agreement and they end up in divorce now I don't think it's like a one-fire and then you're done but obviously it's something that really is a part of people's relationship. So I thought, hey, today's episode should actually be about that. So, um, hi everybody. And I'm just gonna get down to it. I'm gonna get some stats in fact. So, that's about divorce. 57% of divorce couples cite financial strain as the leading cause of their split. That's from Citibank apparently. And Tom and I have gone through many different iterations of finances. So when we got married, we basically had hardly anything. I was collecting coupons. We had a dream of what we were about to do. And so we started our journey. We managed to pretty well as you guys. And I probably know Tom's story about being at awareness technologies and just hustling for like eight years. And so he just and guys are very distracting. I went by myself. I get distracted very easily. And so in our eyes, so we basically went through this whole thing where we'd saved up. We bought our first house and I was so excited. It was like this, my dream come true as a woman like the whole nurturing, building a space, building a nest and I Yeah, and then he came home one day and he's like, babe, do you want to put everything on the line to start a new company called Quest? So we had to take all our finances. We literally cut it by like a third and then we started our journey all over again. So I understand and completely can sympathise with certain situations of finances, of trying to navigate those things with your partner and it's so important to be 100% honest and candid about that. So having honest discussions. So I'm going to answering questions. Like I said, Tom will hopefully join me in a few minutes and if you guys miss him like I do, I will every so often just hold up the phone like this. And we're gonna start with a would you rather? In fact, guys, join me so I don't feel like I'm by myself with would you rather? All right, so the kickavas is, Wijoravas keep all of your finances separate from your partner forever or keep all of them together forever. Now for me, I think I would rather all my finances together because I think we've been together long enough now that I know how he would actually handle money. But I think that you have to kind of work your way up to that because if you were just by yourself or sorry if you were just like starting out I don't know I don't know if I could trust that person with all my money that I've worked hard with so yeah I think for me I would share all my finances because I like feeling like we're in it together but I think that would all depend on how long we've been together so answer in the comments comments below what you guys would do. I'd love to hear from you and I'm really curious to know if a man's answer is actually different from a woman's answer. So yeah drop it in the comments so I can hear what you guys think. Alright so we've got a fan kick-off question. Fan kick-off question is from Dickie Crump. Should Mary Couples have set-pro? I'm trying to save and my partner is running up debt and is not as responsible with finances. Ooh, this is a tricky one. So when Tom and I first started out, what ended up happening was we end up having separate bank accounts initially, because I was a stay at home wife, he was out working, and over time actually felt really weird about asking him if I could spend money. I felt like I was going to him for permission, I felt like he was my parent and I was asking for pocket money and so I just hated the way that made me feel and we had both agreed that I was going to stay at home and take care of the family and he was going to go out to work. So we decided together to make this decision,

but yet I didn't like the fact that then he had the control.

So we sat down and I said, how do I get control back? Like I don't want to feel like I'm coming to you for permission. And so we said, okay, let's sit down and agree on what we're doing with our finances. So if we have, let's say, 100%, how much of that percent is gonna go into savings,

like pure savings, rainy day, put that aside,

we agreed on that percent.

Then we said, okay, how much is it needs to go into bills, our everyday living expenses, etc. So then we agreed on that percent. Then what was left, we just said, cool, now we're going to split it 50, 50, whether that's starting a new account and we actually had different names in our accounts, I actually don't think we did that. He seems to think we did. So that's actually funny that we

don't remember the exact thing. But we had made that agreement. They were going to be completely separate. And so if I wanted, if I was going out with my friends and we were going to go shopping and I saw a pair of shoes that I literally thought I've got no right to buy these in the whole schema things but I've saved up my portion like okay I'm going to spend the money and I'm not going

to ask for permission and I'm not going to feel guilt. I literally thought I've got no right to buy these in the whole scheme of things, but I've saved up my portion, like, okay,

I'm gonna spend the money

and I'm not gonna ask for permission,

and I'm not gonna feel guilty then when I come home and show him. And I remember that being a really big thing is not feeling guilty, overspending the money that you feel like you have earned as well. But you have to have that discussion because I hate to say it, but I actually know people

who have bought women sadly, who have bought shoes,

and hidden them in their closets.

But, discussion because I hate to say it but I actually know people who have bought women sadly, who have bought shoes and hidden them in their closets because they didn't want their husbands to find out that they were actually spending the money. To me that is a very slippery slope. I think the second you start hiding something from your other half, it means that you cannot be honest with them and just that barrier between you of not being honest,

I think then stems in every aspect of your life,

not just with finances.

It's literally a sleep-free slope, in my opinion.

So yeah, my thing is be honest, sit down with each other

and come up with a system like, hey, could I say,

but it's a business transaction, right?

It's, we've got X amount coming in,

like if you had your own business, you wouldn't think twice that you would, you'd have to sit down and go over your finances. So why wouldn't you do that if you were in a relationship? I think you should. So you just need to agree upon what that is. And I think that that will save a lot of just unknown, because I think that resentment can also start coming to play here where one person's spending more money. So I think with this guy it's like you can feel that he's starting to get a little resentful. You know, my partner is running up, you know, she's in debt and I'm the responsible one. That there's no solving that unless you actually fix the problem moving forward. So, alright, next question. This is from Bo Salvedor Raymond. I have a question. My girlfriend makes significant more money than I do with both in our mid 20s. And we've discussed having her move in with me. I own my house. How should I approach the financial conversation with a home for rent, utilities, toilet paper, et cetera? Split everything evenly, even though it's technically 100% my house. Now again, I think this comes down to what is your agreement? If I was her and I can only put myself in that position, if Tom said, let you should move in, I would have to have an agreement that the second I move in, it's not 100% your house, it's both of us. Because I don't feel like I'm paying rent.

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