Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, September 18, 2017.

What's going on? How are you? How's it going? Everybody? How are you? Starting a new week at Mount

There, putting your pants on one leg at a time. Joe six pack going to work. I gotta keep it down. This is the new,

more subdued quieter podcast now that I have a baby daughter. I'm recording this Sunday night and

that's all you need to fucking know. My fucking, are you hearing that? Am I hearing some sort of weird

noise there? I don't know what I did. My fucking mixer is acting weird. What happens if I push this

button? Anything? Anything? Oh, there you go. Just goes into one speaker and then the other.

I went ahead, phoning in the other. How are you? Did you enjoy your football Sunday? Did you enjoy your

sports weekend? Did you follow politics? Did you watch college football? You just stare at the wall,

drinking booze, ignoring your loved ones. Well, if you did, I'm jealous. Oh, Billy, no booze. Billy,

what? Where? Oh, tell me where your booze go. Billy, boy, Billy, boy. Tell me where did your

booze go, charming, Billy. It's sitting over there. And every night I fucking stare, but I can't

have a fucking drop because I got acting work. Yes, I can't have a fucking drop because I got acting

work. See, I'm slowly losing my mind. What if I just had one? Billy, boy, Billy, boy. What if you

just had one? Charming, Billy. Well, then I drink the whole bottle and I fucking puke in the couch.

I'd be a fat fuck on camera and HD down to 176 and change. I mean, been working out because I was

playing catch and fucked up my fucking calf. That's how old I am. So I've just been eating like an angel.

You know, after every bite I count and I chew fucking 27 times on each side of my mouth and then I

take the napkin and I wipe off it like a fucking angel. If there is a god, Allah, whatever the

fucking peanut butter sandwiches you're into. And with that, Allah, peanut butter sandwiches.

I wonder if fucking the counts getting any death threats from extreme Muslims.

Well, maybe he was Muslim. I don't know. They never really said. God knows Sesame Street was

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