Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 9th, 2018.

When a man loves a woman, he'll do some dumb shit like get a ring.

Then all of a sudden he's married, he's like, what did I do? Then he will say, are you mad at me?

She'll just shake her head and say no, and then she'll treat you like shit for the next five days.

What's going on? It never ends people. Never ends. How are you? What's going on? I'm out here in a

hey, wave. I'm still getting over this fucking Ebola that I caught. I don't know what I have. It's

just lingering. I'm just I'm all congested. You know, don't take a towel, put it over your head,

and then sit behind your car and have somebody start it up. All right, now make sure you have a

lemon in your mouth. You know, that's what it much what my fucking day has been like for the last

eight days. Everybody has the it's fucking hilarious. All these people who aren't five assist.

Right. All of these people have never invented anything in their life. And I mean, even just some

dumb shit like you you take some wire and you're fucking twisted and then you bend it. And it's like,

look, for 1995, it's your very own back itch. Right. Back massage. You're

yeah, they've all been telling me how to fucking cure this shit. And it's just like, okay, all right.

Well, I'll try that. Oh, what'd you say? Think the man over there in the plaid shirt says,

think what do you what say you vitamin D you say vitamin D vitamin C. You know, I feel like I'm on

a game show, right? When you're on the prices, right? And everybody's yelling out a price like a

different number and the person's looking with their deer in the headlights. That's what it's like when

you have a fucking cold. By the way, me and my laugh, who isn't mad at me? Who isn't not not talking to

me, but isn't actually really chatty either. You know, do you now you get them out of that mood?

You have you can't say it out loud. You can't say, I don't you know what, I don't even give a

shit anymore at this point. I've gone through enough hours of torture here. What you do is you just

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