Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burn. It's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, July 18, 2011.

Keep in mind that Jesus Christ has died for all sinners.

Why is that song in my head? I still remember the guy who sang it back when I was a lad

and I went to church. Oh, Jesus. I haven't tell you guys that shit. I was actually an altar boy.

I dressed up like a little angel and I sat there and I rang the bells and I what did I hold?

I held some sort of something when people took communion. I hold that little gold spatula.

In case I don't know what the little wafer fell out that represented the flesh of another human being,

which if you really look at it, it is pretty fucking disgusting. This is the Monday morning podcast.

And I'm taping this Sunday night. I'm recording this by myself in a hotel room and wonderful downtown San Jose.

I just wrapped up my weekend at the San Jose improv. Obviously. It's not like I'd be working the one in Houston if I was a...

You ever just hate yourself. I just really hated myself in that moment. I'm pretty even attempting to make that joke.

Oh, fuck you. Are all your jokes good? Huh? Is this the Monday morning? Every fucking joke is funny podcast. I never said that.

You got to have the bad ones so that you can compare them to the good ones. You wouldn't know what a fucking good joke was if I didn't tell such a bad joke there.

So stand down, Mr. Huh? You're all grumpy at me because you forgot to crack your windows and now you're sitting there in your car and your dashboard is all fucking hot.

You're all heated up. So now you're giving me shit. I don't need it, buddy. I don't fucking need it.

So anyway, it's beautiful downtown San Jose and it's a really lovely town. It's a very... it's a town that really...

I don't know, there's a big time misdirection with this town because it looks like Mayberry but you can get fucked up at 10 in the morning in San Jose.

And this is... I'm just... I don't have any evidence of that. That's just the vibe. I don't know what it is. They've got all these great stores, all these great restaurants. They have a trolley.

Okay. I'm a classic white guy. Nothing makes a white guy feel safe like a trolley.

The second we see a trolley, I don't know. We start picturing butterflies and flowers and a gazebo maybe. You got a trolley. That's quaint.

You know? How am I going to get fucked up in such a quaint atmosphere? Well, I don't know. I don't understand San Jose.

I have a fucking homeless problem out here. The likes of which I haven't seen since the last time I went to San Francisco, which is oddly right up the street.

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