Monday Morning Podcast 7-11-11
Monday Morning Podcast
All Things Comedy
4.7 • 34.1K Ratings
🗓️ 11 July 2011
⏱️ 75 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 11th, 2011. |
| 0:07.0 | See that? Look at me. Two elevenths and I blew right through it. No problems whatsoever. I think this is going to be a good podcast. |
| 0:18.0 | All right. So here we are. It's another Monday. It's another Monday. Do you know where your dreams are? |
| 0:27.0 | I am going out of my fucking mind this week. People as opposed to the other weeks when I'm so relaxed and chilled and realizing what's important in life this week. |
| 0:39.0 | Believe it or not. I'm a little off the Zen path. If you can believe it. I've been in my fucking apartment. All goddamn day. |
| 0:49.0 | And I realized today after being in my apartment the entire fucking day because my girl had the car. All right. |
| 0:59.0 | You know, it's how I'm living my life. Dead free. I can go out and get another one. You know, you think I'm not a big shot. You think I couldn't go out there and go get myself a fucking Mercury monarch. |
| 1:13.0 | I put some rims on that bitch. You think I can't live like that? I choose not to. Okay. Cause it's obnoxious. I don't flaunt my ability to get Mercury's answer to the Ford Granada. |
| 1:27.0 | Actually, I would go out and limit say the Mercury was a little bit better because as far as the lineage goes, the Mercury back in the day anyways was a for a man who was making a little more money wanted to stick with the Lincoln Ford product. |
| 1:41.0 | Did I lose all the lace on that one? Did I? Well, that's good. Anyway, so I've been in the fucking apartment. All fucking day. And I don't know. I just realized I not only. |
| 1:55.0 | I'm with the fuck I'm talking. You know what? I could never work on a submarine. You ever see those things about those sailors? Sayless. |
| 2:02.0 | Who are they join the Navy? Right? A lot of people don't know like people who join the Navy. They're already sailors. You already have to be a sailor before you go into the Navy. |
| 2:12.0 | I don't know if you guys knew that you got to show up. Okay. You already have to have you a little outfit on with a little hat. You know. |
| 2:21.0 | You gotta come in there. Dress like Popeye have one at least one anchor tattoo and then you gotta do a little dance with a mop. And if you do it, you move on to the next round. |
| 2:35.0 | And on the next round, what do you gotta do? You gotta do something else. Something with a pipe. I can't remember. You start smoking a pipe and then you can't have spinach. And then you're in. That's how it works. I know a lot of you thinking like Bill, you know technically we're still at war. |
| 2:49.0 | You know why are you making front of that branch of the military? And I'll tell you why because that's the safest one to be in. |
| 2:59.0 | I said this before and I'll say it again a long time ago. I said it on the uninformed show with Joe D'Arosa. |
| 3:05.0 | The teen idol sensation from the opian Anthony program. I said it a long fucking time ago. There has not been any great naval battle footage since World War II. |
| 3:17.0 | All right. So basically if you want to have, you know, the ability later on in your life when you're an old man and you're acting like a total douche and people are calling on it, calling you on it. |
| 3:31.0 | You and you want to be able to be like, I was a veteran. I'm a veteran. If you want to be able to yell that and not have to worry about your safety, you're joining the Navy. |
| 3:40.0 | I mean, that's the way to go. If you don't believe me, I am, I am, I have a lot of listeners. I believe in the army, in the Marines, in the Air Force that would gladly send me emails to tell me to agree with me that that is that's the coward's way out. |
| 3:57.0 | I'm just fucking with you. All right. Before you fucking call Fox News and they can be also. |
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