Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, May 7th, 2012, 2012, baby.

What's going on? Do you guys have a, why am I yelling? Why am I yelling? You know why? Because I got a good night's sleep and I just had some waffles.

So I got that fucking sugar rush. Yeah, I made, ooh, just slam my computer. It gives a fuck. I can't figure out how to work it anyways.

I had, I had some waffles for breakfast. Now why did you just shut off your cunt? Oh, I see, just sort of Jesus Bill, everything that technology does is not an attack on you.

Why don't you just relax? I'm, I'm, I'm, hang on guys, I just need to talk to myself for a second. All right. Just fucking just sit and think, figure out what happened. Stop taking the bait. All right, I'm back.

Yeah, it's some fucking waffles. I actually made him yesterday. I'm gonna take you guys through my boring day. This sounds like the beginning of a Bruce Springsteen song, doesn't it?

I made some waffles. It was overcressed, but I was gonna make him son of a son up. Oh my God. How does he turn it around? The breakfast, Limerix from that guy.

You know what? It's one of my goals to see him live in concert because I've been making fun of him forever and half of my friends have been making fun of him. And then they go see him in concert and they're like, dude, you gotta go see that guy in concert.

You know, with his class three under bite. He's got, he's got a, he's got one of those, I don't know if he was a dog keeping one of those dogs with the mushed in faces.

You know, he's got one of those boxer, the same dentition of like a boxer or like a pug. What the fuck? Did Pugs not breathe or something? I know they have the mushed in face, but like I always hear bulldogs have the worst time trying to breathe.

But like Pugs have the most look of panic on their face. Like when bulldogs can't breathe, they just say, I, yeah, I was gonna fuck it lay down here. They just seem like a tub of shit dog where like Pugs like genuinely seem concerned about something.

The way their eyes bug out or do they have like that high metabolism? You know, when you have something wrong with your thyroid, is that the right word?

Huh? Do I have any doctors that listen to this?

Anyways, I made waffles yesterday and the lovely Nia is killing it. You know, she's working out. She's on this.

I'm gonna be a fucking even hotter chick diet, right? So she can't eat anything. All right. And you know the ladies.

Okay, they got all that fucking hormonal shit going on every goddamn month. You know, stuff. Fucking I don't know what. There's always something going on with them.

You know, they're basically it's like living with an addict when you live with the woman, you know, they always got some shit coming up.

And they always that same bullshit. So now you compound it with the fact now she's on some special diet. So she's basically detoxing from whatever fucking, you know, how people eat.

You know, we eat right? You get the sugar salt rush. You eat to your totally stuffed. You mentally think that's what eating is.

And then when you actually eat the way you're supposed to and your body isn't like freaking out like, yeah, man, fucking freedom. Right.

It's actually just chilling with some fucking broccoli and some protein. You're not used to that. You know, you're used to go into some high energy shit.

So anyways, I'm sitting there making the waffles, right? And you know one of those deals when you chick goes on a fucking diet, all of a sudden, you have to be on the diet too.

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