Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burn. It's the Monday morning podcast for Monday. May 12th. What's going on? I am here at the All Things Comedy Podcast Studios. Doug Stanhope is going to be here. Hopefully in a couple of minutes.

Doug was had a late night last night at the library. He was doing some research. You know, a lot of comics like me just go on stage and we just, you know, as we call it shoot from the hip and the subtext is that of that as we don't fucking read.

And oh, look who's here. He's here. Doug actually researchers. Doug Stanhope researches all of his jokes, making his way into the studio. What's up, brother? Look at that giant Dr. Suss looking flower.

They stink of booze and cigarettes. Oh, they do have a seat. Welcome. Well, right on time. Show up in this condition, but put on your headphones. Let's let's do this. What's up, my friend? Is his mic on?

Yeah. Jack, I don't hear it. I don't hear it. Jesus, the all thing comedy. Fucking microphones. Check test. Hey, there we go. Dude, good to see you.

I manage or put the top down in his car and what as soon as I put the top down, I could smell the booze coming off of you from the street. Oh, I don't smell it, dude. You're fine. I was just I was just telling everybody that you were out at the library researching.

Just doing making sure you know when you go to tell you jokes that you have all your facts in order. I do. Absolutely. You want to check you. One of the few.

Occasionally, I'll find some bullshit where I don't want to find it. And I don't fucking I'm telling the joke anyway. No one's going to know. But for the most part, I want to be right. Is it anything worse than when you have a joke you love. And then after the show, an audience member comes up with actual facts that completely ruins your whole point.

My most downloaded bit is about winning pussy on a bet back in the 90s. And it was a Red Sox twins game. Excuse me. And yeah, I got the numbers wrong. Mo Vaughn didn't hit a home run. He hit an RBI. Some fact checker went back and found the game that I go into detail about. And it wasn't a home run. But it's already recorded. I can't take it back.

It crushes you. Yeah, yeah. All right. I was a bit wrong. But the fucking Red Sox one and Bobby Barnett fucked me. Well, I love I just love the fact that somebody can go back and find the goddamn game. Like then just just just to be a kind of a who would care.

This is Brian Hennigan. He's my filthy uncut Scotsman manager and and my right. Yeah, we met when you were doing the other will turn you and I wrote it. Yeah, yeah. When I came down there and hung out. Well, what the hell did you do last night?

I tried to podcast with Marilyn Manson at his house. Okay. Last night into today. So we have four hours of unusable footage.

He's very open about what we were partaking in. I do. I want to hear. Is it okay to what? No, I was asking. I don't want to get you in trouble.

I have no problem with it. I get a text message on the way here. You can't put that out. Oh, okay. Well, then let's not talk about what happened. So you were Marilyn playing board games. You got a little lost in it. Yeah. Monopoly. One of those Parker brothers. Once it just goes all night. You know, as it does.

And Bingo was supposed to be here with me, but she took some of that board game home with her enough to put her in a catatonic state. Okay. So I woke up after four hours of sleep. She's wearing an air B and B. The owner comes in. He's talking to her. Excuse me. Excuse me.

He's some Israeli guy. She won't even look at him. She's that blown out of her. Gored. She actually was the one who texted me back this morning when I texted your phone to make sure you were still coming. She actually said, Hey, Bingo here. That's how I know. Yeah. She texted me. Sorry. I answered your text Bill Burr, but I just took a pot candy. Well, that probably not good on top of everything else you've done. Now you're taking medicinal marijuana when you're already psychotic.

Dude, when is this TV show coming out? I want to watch this. This week would be a yeah. I am on. I'm on the exact opposite road right now. I'm getting ready to do a special. So I have been a fuck. Other than cigars. I've been a fucking choir boy. And dude, I feel great.

I'm two weeks behind on the podcast. So I kind of hate being here because I'm not caught up. Oh, no, no. And I want to open by apologizing to your listeners because if you're any type of fan of the podcast like I am, I fucking hate it when you have a guest.

Oh, I'm sorry for being here. Oh, no, no. Come on. Dude, you're talking about playing board games with Marilyn. Manson. My fans alike in this. I hope they are. I don't want to speak for them. I'm sure there'll be one douche on the Twitter.

I shaking his head. Always, always, always one guy that ruins it. But yeah, no, I said I go this. I'm such an anachronism right now. He's got a Lexus convertible. I'm in a leisure suit with a head full of cocaine.

Racing here. Just making sure I don't forget flowers for Nia. Yeah, you're sweet heart. Right there. Why would the why would the listeners not like you? Dude, I got to tell you you're pulling off that leisure suit like like nobody's business. You look great.

That really is you. Those things should come back. I wish I you know something that whole fucking fat. You know where the everybody started wearing the big crossbeef.

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