Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, March 7, 2011.

There, I said it right, 2011, 2011.

I'm down here in Miami. Miami Beach. I did the South Beach Comedy Festival this past Friday night.

And the fuck did I do? I worked at the new Symphony Theater. And it was funny. I worked there Friday night and Thursday night, the first comedian ever to perform there because it's basically designed for a symphony was Kathleen Madigan.

So they had an all redhead weekend, which I thought was nice. You know, for once they paid attention to one of the overlooked minorities out there. You know.

How come we don't get a day on the calendar? What about us persecuted by the sun? Do you know what it's like to be persecuted from sun up to sundown? I don't think you do.

You fucking bitch and people from other goddamn fucking groups. I've had it.

Anyways, yeah, down here on Miami Beach and everyone is dressed like a hooker, you know, this is really just a bunch of, I don't know, really good looking women who are dressed as fucking trashy as you possibly can.

None of them do you look at like, God, I could marry that girl. You just look at all of them and you just start thinking about porno.

I don't get it. It's that and I can't just say that it's the Miami Beach area because I've kind of seen that in like a number of different cities.

It's that that Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton influence where I don't know, I don't know what happened to broads. I don't know how they went from the 1950s to early 60s, which I think was the high point of class, at least classy looking women.

God knows there was plenty of gold dig and horse back then, but that whole area there, man, the way they dressed telling you, they look classy.

Your approach to them was different. Down here, it's just, it's fucking ridiculous. I'm sitting there with my lady.

I'm trying to pay attention to her as she's talking to me and these two chicks at the fucking next table.

The girls sitting there with their tits, they're almost, they were as close to being out of her dress as humanly fucking possible.

You know, so that's what am I thinking? Am I looking at her like, oh, look at that beautiful, beautiful woman. I'm not. I'm thinking what would be like if I just stuck my dick right in the cleavage?

Is my end of my girl's voice just fades off in the background? I can't fucking hear what she's saying.

Yeah, it's, I've had it. I've had enough down here. I'm fucking done with it. I'm not going in the ocean. I respect the ocean.

All right, there's sharks in there. There's barracuda. There's jellyfish. The goddamn ocean itself can just get mad at you and drag you out to fucking see when it feels like it.

And then you're supposed to remain calm and just sort of, oh, which way is it dragging me? I guess I'll swim sideways.

I think that's what I'll do, you know, see ocean just fucking attacks you pulls your bathing suit off, you know, even if you survive, you're going to be walking up there with the sunburned dick. Is that what you want? I just know what I want.

So what I'm looking for in a vacation. All right.

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