Monday Morning Podcast 3-25-13
Monday Morning Podcast
All Things Comedy
4.7 • 34.1K Ratings
🗓️ 25 March 2013
⏱️ 70 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, March 25th, |
| 0:08.0 | 2013. Just like that, it's the end of the third month. We're almost a quarter of the way through the year. |
| 0:17.0 | Where is it going? I'm sitting downstairs in my, you know, I don't even know if it's a room right now. |
| 0:25.0 | I don't know if you can call it a room, you know, I'm so fucking sick of this bullshit. I swear to God, I'm ready to just give |
| 0:32.0 | into the insurance companies and just be like, you know what dude, what do you want to stick in there? |
| 0:37.0 | I recycled toothpicks all mashed together with some elmer's glue. Yeah, fucking stick it in there. |
| 0:43.0 | All right, you dicks. Like I didn't know you were going to do this to me. The day I fucking got insurance from you guys. |
| 0:50.0 | You know, we reviewed your policy and we actually found some areas of the book. |
| 0:55.0 | It was fucking do that Goddaman. Fucking pussy ass insurance adjuster, right? |
| 1:00.0 | The guy comes here, you know, and he's all fucking smiles and rosy cheeks throwing stripper glitter all over the |
| 1:07.0 | fucking room. Hey, we're going to cover everything. Don't you worry about it. We're going to book them beep up up and |
| 1:12.0 | boom, boom, boom, right? And then what happens when the hammer comes down, is he looking me in my eye? |
| 1:20.0 | Is he standing in my living room with outside air blowing through his fucking hair because I have no fucking roof? |
| 1:27.0 | No, how does he do it? He calls me up leaves a fucking message. That's what he does. |
| 1:36.0 | Someone over here like Chris fucking cringle. He calls up. All right. Like some fucking college age dude who doesn't |
| 1:43.0 | not have breakup with his chick. So he just does it over the phone, right? Because he doesn't want to deal with the waterworks. |
| 1:48.0 | You don't want to see me break down and cry. You know, as he tells me that he reviewed my policy and oh, wait a minute. |
| 1:54.0 | I'm not as covered as as I thought I was. You know, then he'd see my bottom lip start quivering. |
| 2:01.0 | He'd see my shoulder start shaking right here. He didn't want to be there for that ugly mess. |
| 2:06.0 | It's bad enough when a broad starts crying. Forget about a grown man. |
| 2:13.0 | Did I just say grown man? That's one of the expressions I can't stand the most in comedy. |
| 2:18.0 | I'm a grown man. How many fucking we know we can see it. You have a beard. You asshole. |
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