Hey, what's going on is Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, December 7th, 2015.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but you're who has sold the light full.

So if you don't fucking mind spread your legs, sorry.

Hey, it's December everybody. Let's December to remember.

Happy holidays. Oh, it's the holiday season. So Merry Christmas.

I don't give a fuck if you find that offensive because then you're kind of shitting on my religion.

It's Merry Christmas still offensive to people.

I can't wait for somebody to wish me a happy, honey, and I'm going to blow a gasket. How dare you?

Say something nice from your religion. How fucking dare you?

I kind of fucked up this year with my Christmas shopping where, you know, who's getting who?

When you're married, it's all about getting your fucking wife something that's going to keep her fucking yaps shut.

For maybe two, three days. Who's kidding? Who? You know what I mean?

Are they ever really happy with you?

I'm asking. You know something, let's try to spend this in a positive way.

If you have a wife, okay? If you're a gay dude and, you know, you feel like you're more the dude, right?

And you're your fucking, your husband is always pitching a fit of just everything.

You know what I mean? And you're just sitting there going, what the fuck is with this dude?

Why can't he just fucking can you just can you get a run together of four days of just being generally happy?

Okay, if anybody is in that situation and you have figured out a way to somehow get that,

get that person to the fifth day, could you please email me and tell me what your strategy is?

I don't give a shit male, female. It's not like there's some bitchy guys out there.

You know, I'm sure women deal with that. Some moody motherfucker.

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