Hey, what's going on is Bill Burr and it is the Monday morning podcast for Monday, January 31st, 2011.

How are you? How are you doing? Really? Oh, that's good to hear. You know, I was worried about you.

That, you know, something you see it just goes to show you doesn't it? It just goes to show you that if you sit around and you think positive thoughts, you'll have a happy Monday.

Are you having a happy Monday? Happy Monday to you.

I'm not having a happy Monday. I fucking flew back from Dallas, Texas, which is why the podcast is a little bit late among other fucking technology.

God damn reasons because I bought a new fucking microphone and I brought it out to Texas with me and it just picked up the entire room.

I did a whole fucking podcast and I was going to upload it like a good boy midnight.

So even my friends over there in Jolly Old England way back over there and Sweden, any of those couple of cuts that listen in Mongolia would have something on a Monday morning, whatever the fuck there at what happened.

I went back and I listened to it and it sounded like ass and I was like, I'm not subjecting my listeners to this. How do you like that?

Isn't that a great excuse for being late? I'm late because I was thinking about you. I was thinking about your needs.

I think I care too much.

Oh God, I feel like shit. I forgot to bring my vitamins with me, right? I'm such a fucking old man.

Did that motherfucker just hit the floor down there?

I think now I'm just hearing things. Fuck that old guy. And his balls. Yeah, I don't I forgot to bring my vitamins speaking of old.

I have to bring vitamins with me when I'm on the road now. You know, I can't fucking do it anymore.

If the years of breathing in that airline food, listen, listen to my voice right now, right?

Lot of the ladies probably thinks it's, you know, sounds a little bit sexy. It isn't. This is what I sound like when I'm beginning to get sick. And I forgot all my shit, you know, all my pills on the needle man, all my pills that I fucking take when I'm on the road.

So I don't get sick, you know, you fly out. I'm always flying back fucking east, you know.

So then I got to get up at six in the morning, which is really like four in the morning for me. Then I do radio. Then I try to come back and go to sleep with the fucking suns out. I can't do it. Then I do my shows.

And then I'm fucking shaking everybody's hands afterwards. And then I fucking, you know, rub my face.

You know, next thing, you know, I got road aids.

You know, but it's curable. It's curable by fucking three shitty days sitting in your own fucking apartment.

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