Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, January 16th, 2012, motherfucker.

Sorry. What's going on? Well, 20 to the one, two, Z bitch. Um, this is the Monday morning podcast. I am your host. I just woke up. I got nothing funny to say.

I don't even have any goddamn nourishment in me. I just woke up because I have a do do do do do I got out of the bed. Um, yeah, I didn't, I'm, I'm fucking in my bathrobe and slippers. You know, I'm, I'm dressed like a sitcom dad in the morning.

You know, they dress them up like he never fucked his wife ever. He had the immaculate conception. That's how they had the kids. Remember that he used to do that back in the day. Like with like Hugh Beaumont, a Robert Young or, uh, Mike Brady. Remember they slept in the separate beds.

This has been covered before. You know, I'm just saying. And yes, I do have a bathrobe. I always wanted one when I was a kid, you know, but my parents were just like, what are you a fucking.

What are you a fucking asshole? What kind of what kind of a man to be once a goddamn robe. And I was like, what about all the kings at war and they were like, well, what about all the queens.

And I was like, you know what, I can't refute that. How does that make you feel good about yourself, winning a debate with a fucking third grader. You know, I was actually thinking about this shit the other day. And I'll probably talk about this on stage someday, because I think it's, I think it's funny enough that I'm just not going to do it once here in the podcast. I've made that decision.

See all these jokes, you know, it's like, it's like one of those guys who's next to one of those barrels and he's drinking the fucking whiskey, trying to see if it's okay to give to the public, you know, reality is just a fucking alcoholic who got his dream job.

Kind of like how those pedophiles always somehow get to work at camps.

You know, I think we really have to revamp that whole follow your dream should be follow your dream unless, unless you're a pedophile.

You know, go follow your heart. You know, go right down that road unless you want to fuck a kid, then fuck your dreams.

I'm sorry, you know, built a little early in the morning for some pedophile humor. Well, I don't give a fuck. I even have had toast yet. You know, I woke up this morning.

And all I heard was the fucking guilt trip from you guys. We do folks the fucking podcast. I know.

I know I'm a little late. I'm a little late. Like you want to watch a lot of football this weekend. Didn't I? Didn't I? Speaking of that, I got a nice email from a football fan. It says from a Bronco's fan. Bill, go fuck yourself.

You know what he's just saying. He's just saying, you know what? I got to admit the red face. You were actually right last week.

How do you guys feel? How do you guys feel? Now I'm not talking about Bronco fans. Okay. I'm not going to single you motherfuckers out. All right. I got sympathy for you.

I know what that's like to be like here. We go. We're going to win the shiny thing that I never get to touch. It's somehow I'll be fulfilled for 20 minutes before I realize I really had nothing to do with it.

And I hate my wife again. Right? I'm not shitting on you guys. My condolences. You know, you're great fans.

I don't like your new stadium, though. I like mile high. I went to a game out there long fucking time ago back in 1999. Old Johnny boy. It just left.

He was like, I don't need this shit. I'm going to go sell some campers in our v's. Come on down to John L. Ways, Big teeth and weird face Ford.

We'll give you an F one 50 or my name isn't Johnny L. Ways. Right. Remember those commercials. So I really just trashed a first belt with Hall of Famer. I think I did.

There's an arrogance you have when you're wearing a bathrobe. It just says this is my fucking place. All right. Give me that goddamn newspaper.

...