Take two. I had to re-record this entire episode because I listened back, which I never do. And I was just being like

way too much of a cunt. You know, like even for me, I was like, this is feeling like

passive aggressive and I'd rather just be aggressive. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the bitch Bible

podcast. It is I. Oh, but you know what's so annoying is that in my first take, very randomly,

like the guitar, like made like a weird strumming sound. Also, another thing that we're going to

have to deal with on this week's episode, I was injected T-minus 24 hours ago with so much disport, so much Botox, so much filler that I am suffering

what can only be described as Stephen Hawking's facial paralysis.

Did Stephen Hawking have?

Why do I always say Stephen Hawkins?

Now I'm going to have to re-record this again. It's not even a minute in, and I'm talking about Stephen Hawking have... Why do I always say Stephen Hawking? Now I'm going to have to re-record this again. It's not even a minute in and I'm talking about Stephen Hawking. Hocking. It's really hard to just draw the line at G when I start talking about Stephen Hawking, which is not often, by the way. Do we need to start over? Okay. I have a lot of things in my face right now. And when I try to laugh, I frown and I drill a little bit. So if it's getting a little saliva heavy, we just have to give me grace this episode. I went yesterday and I said, Tanya, give me the good good. Like I want you to observe my face and do whatever you need to do to make me even barely more attractive.

She said, I got you girly.

I said, I really am interested in filler contouring, like jawline contouring with filler.

There we go.

Red leather, yellow leather. Okay. She says,

I'm more worried about symmetry than contouring for you. I said, here don't. She said, lovingly, your face is a bit asymmetrical and I don't know that we should do filler on your entire jaw. I think we need

to fill out the right hand side for a more symmetrical look and then see how it lays. I said,

okay, I got 110 units of a disport Botox combo platter. Okay. I got little plastic worms in my jawline and all of you dumb toxic

bitches who are like, it's the worst. Don't do it. Filler. You are, okay, I'm, I'm being serious right now.

You are such a fucking pussy. That was child's play. I don't give a fuck, okay? You get a little numb, numb,

a little shoot, shoot. Does it feel like a literal worm is entering the epidermis of your skin?

Yeah, but that's just a Friday in the Schimel-Hiven-Haushouse. Who fucking cares? Grow up or be ugly.

Okay? Those are your options. Buck up, Brittany, or just get uglier. It's not like,

...