MLB Hates The Dodgers with Ivan Ngo

Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Lizard People

Paranormal, Religion & Spirituality, Conspiracytheory, Conspiracy, Comedy

4 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2023

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

You might not know Ivan Ngo. But you know who probably does? The commissioneer of Major League Baseball, Rob Manfred JR. See Ivan suspects that Rob's making certain suspicious calls that hurt the Dodgers, specificially to hurt Ivan's feelings. It's not a conspiracy theory if they're really out to get you! Get comfy and pour yourself a big bowl of Applejacks, because we learn a lot about baseball this episode, including: who has the funniest names, the names of the shoes they wear, who most reminds Ivan of his step-dad, and which stadium has the thinnest air.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Yeah, sure. I'll take the how to be my best self in this new year new me great. I was hoping you would
0:24.8	move into your own place. So that's exciting. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so number one move. At the beginning of the
0:43.7	year, near some of the most expensive holidays moves. Oh, yeah. What you should do is in January,
0:50.0	try to always move into a new place bigger than the last one. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, it's even better
0:55.9	smaller. Oh, smaller, but more money, smaller, but more money. Yes, that's always ideal. But don't
1:03.0	have a first aid kit. Don't have that. You're not going to need that. It's not like you're going to
1:06.8	cut your finger with them the first two weeks there and what happened and suddenly be reminded
1:12.2	of just like, Oh, these are, this is the dangers of being alone. Did you have like a Liz
1:16.6	lemon choking on a TV dinner moment? I did. Basically, I cut my, like, I, uh, I had to like,
1:23.3	basically restock my whole kitchen when I moved up a lot of my kitchen stuff, uh, moved it went on
1:30.2	without me. Um, and I bought like new kitchen knives and like, uh, I got, I got a new knife in
1:38.4	and I was like, Oh, hell yeah. And then I, I opened it up and then I'm like washing it,
1:42.7	slip, cut my index finger. And I was like, Oh, no, rough, rough. Yeah, yeah. That's why I keep
1:49.9	my knives dull. Ooh, dull as hell. You got to really slam them down on the board. Yeah,
1:55.6	they always say a dull knife is much safer. Yeah. A dull knife is a safe knife. Well, you like to
2:02.0	keep the sharpest thing in your apartment. Your mind. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Yes. My razor weight will
2:09.8	drop my carrots. Oh, yeah. That's why they call you razor a moan.
2:16.4	It's so funny. This has never come up on this podcast. Yeah. Almost everyone in my life
2:20.5	calls me razor remote. Yeah. And you do like to have that toothpick in your mouth. And so like,
2:26.7	a chico like to be like a vaguely kind of questionable accent. Why do you do that? I don't know
2:33.8	because people keep letting me get away with it. Yeah. Because like I started doing it before I
2:40.2	understood that it was like pretty insensitive and just let me just a clear ripoff of scar face.
	...

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