And that's been y'all, my nickname is

El Tigre, Tino!

Because my knowledge will bite her face off.

So don't question, send your chain, or you'll get bit, you bit, you bit!

Hey there folks, welcome to a Tuesday afternoon edition of TBTL.

This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live.

Do we love you? We want you to live!

This is episode 773 in a collector's series.

My name is Luke Burbank, I'm your host, weighing in at 187.5 pounds.

Yes, in your face calories, that of course, the direct result of being on day 7 of the riding of

the Little Red Wagon, which is, you know, I've been actually relatively painless so far.

You can't ride in my Little Red Wagon!

Forgive me if things are a little slow today in terms of the getting the, I don't know,

the audio drops played, the little this and that done, it's because I have a fucking cat on

my lap and, by the way, that's not a euphemism, I literally have a cat sitting on my lap,

which is really, really impeding things. But, and Alan's digging into my leg, it says if this

stupid animal that licks its own genitals most of the time speaks English and understands that I'm

talking mess about it. All right, let's focus on what's important.

An incident involving Jake Gyllenhaal and a men's bathroom at the South by Southwest,

music conference proves, once and for all, that these spokespeople for these famous folks are just

completely horribly inveterate liars. Wow, we know you're good at lying. We'll catch them red-handed.

Also, Gilbert Godfried has been fired from his gig, yelling this. I'm flak!

...