Live at SXSW | the Monday Morning Podcast 3-30-26

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.7 • 34.1K Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2026

⏱️ 98 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about novelty bikes, A.I. relationship advice, and animals in the dryer.

Recorded in front of a live audience for the SXSW Festival on March 13th at Esther's Follies in Austin, TX.

WATCH: https://youtu.be/JznnnXU_qo0

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Please put your hands together for the host of the Monday morning podcast.
0:09.8	Mr. Bill Burke.
0:16.5	All right.
0:17.7	What's going on?
0:20.3	How's it going?
0:21.4	Nice to be.
0:22.3	Do I walk around the front of the table or behind?
0:26.0	This is a nice little strip club here.
0:29.0	That's what I'm seeing.
0:30.1	The piano here, the old school one.
0:31.8	This is old horse.
0:33.9	Old horse dancing on this fucking stage.
0:37.4	Oh, is this like an iconic music venue? You guys all got like, I never know. horse, old horse dancing on this fucking stage.
0:39.2	Oh, is this like a iconic music venue? You guys all got like,
0:41.3	I never know how to read Austin, Texas.
0:43.5	You know what I mean? It's like,
0:45.3	I know you guys think you're liberal, but you live
0:47.2	in Texas, so I think it's a little skewed.
0:50.2	You're like, we're the good
0:51.3	Texas people.
0:54.5	I have a rainbow on the back of my pickup truck,
0:58.1	just to let you know that I'm thinking about the queers
	...

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