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Judge John Hodgman

Legalhosen

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.87.7K Ratings

🗓️ 26 February 2015

⏱️ 69 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How many socks is TOO many socks?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm your guest Baylor,

0:05.7

Monte Belmonti from 939 the River in North Hampton, Massachusetts in for Jesse Thorn.

0:10.2

This week, legal wholesome, Lisa brings the case against her husband Matt.

0:15.8

Matt has accumulated a large collection of socks. He began with solid colors and now has expanded

0:22.0

to fancier, patterned socks. Lisa says the collection has gotten out of hand and wants Matt to

0:27.6

call the herd. Matt says put a sock in it Lisa, who's right, who's wrong. Only one man can decide,

0:35.2

please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and socks it to them with an obscure cultural

0:41.3

reference. I visited the home of a client in her 50s. As always, we started with her clothes.

0:49.3

We moved through her wardrobe at a smooth pace, finished the underwear, and we're ready to start

0:55.7

organizing her socks. But when she pulled open her sock drawer, I could not suppress a gasp.

1:04.0

It was full of potato-like lumps that rolled about. She had folded back the tops to form balls

1:13.0

and tied her stockings tightly in the middle. I was speechless. Let me state here and now never,

1:23.2

ever ball up your socks. I pointed to the balled-up socks. I said, look at them carefully.

1:31.1

This should be a time for them to rest. Do you really think your socks can get any rest like that?

1:37.9

End quote, guest bail of Montebele Monte Swerve them in. Lisa and Matt, please rise and raise your

1:43.8

right hands. But raise them as sock puppets and come up with fancy sock puppet voices to answer when

1:50.8

I ask you. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth about socks, whole and holy,

1:57.6

so help you sock demon or whatever evil being constantly steals that other matching socks somewhere

2:02.7

out of my laundry? I do. I do. That was not a cute puppet voice, Matt. Do you swear to abide by

2:12.5

Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he is not wearing any socks in the middle of

2:18.4

a New England winter? Oh, I do. Lisa. I do. I love it. Thank you, Judge Hodgman. You made

2:28.0

proceed. Lisa and Matt, you made me seated. Let me just first of all say it's so nice to be here in

...

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