Keep One Eye Open

Bitch Bible

PodcastOne

Talk Radio, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.6 • 14.6K Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2022

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jackie recaps her Harry Styles experience, reflects on why people hate her and dodges pink eye from Grandma Gloria

Produced By Dear Media

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a deer media production.
0:26.9	Lisa Barlow is a star.
0:28.2	I just watched Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and the
0:30.6	Bob of the Century, whatever fucking song that is, I can't get it out of my
0:33.5	head.
0:34.0	Lisa Barlow has beautiful vocal texture, some might say.
0:37.8	Hello, everybody.
0:38.6	Welcome to the Beach Bible podcast.
0:40.1	It's me Jackie Shimmel, Jack attacks here.
0:43.4	Don't you love that shit?
0:44.5	Jack attack.
0:46.0	I have like a weird creepy uncle that I see like once every eight years that
0:49.3	every time I see him, he's like, Jack attack in the building.
0:52.7	And I'm like, Hey, Uncle Tim, you're giving pedophilia energy.
0:57.0	And don't ever call me Jack attack again or I'm going to take this little
1:00.8	Christmas cheese knife and I'm going to cut your dick off.
1:04.3	And then I'm going to lay my sweet head.
1:07.6	Oh, crib for his bed.
1:09.9	What am I saying?
1:11.1	I woke up this morning, ready to fucking tussle.
1:16.4	Now you may ask yourself, Jackie, what's the difference with every other day
1:20.3	that you wake up?
	...

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