Alright my homies, welcome back to part 2 of this insanely powerful conversation with my boy Jay Shetty. Now part 1 has had you thinking about every relationship that you've ever been in, then buckle up because now we're about to expose the patterns to end up keeping us stuck. Let's just be real ladies, how many times have you ended up ignoring the good guy, the stable guy, the one that maybe you label as boring? Meanwhile you end up finding yourself chasing the one who actually plays it hot and cold, the one that keeps you guessing, and guess what? The one who doesn't actually appreciate you. Now trust me, I get it, we're all human. We all don't realize sometimes how our behavior ends up being the thing that is detrimental to the goal that we have. But that is why you come here. That is why you listen to women of impact so that you can start to unwire those negative and bad habits. And in this half, Jay is helping us break down by so many women confused in consistency with chemistry and how to actually break that cycle. We also talk about the brutal truth of why we drawn so emotionally to unavailable men. That's right. We call them bad boys.

Now guys, I used to love bad boys. I literally would say that out loud. They need to have an edge to them. I was one of those people. I was one of those people that if they were too kind, if they were too sweet, if they were too nice, then I actually wasn't interested. Now looking back now that is cool, easy in us. But once you tap into why why you do it, how you do it, and then how to unwire it, trust me. It is literally the thing that then allowed me to meet the love of my freaking life for 25 years, my hubby, Tom Billy. And then finally, you cannot miss this ending because we end on the five things you can do daily as a habit to actually build yourself work. I freaking love this part. It was not what I expected J to say, but the five things you can do daily as a habit to actually build your self-work. I freaking love this part. It was not what I expected Jade to say, but the five tips were so good that I'm telling you you're going to want to wait to the end to hear those five. Because if you start to implement those five habits immediately, guys, you can literally change your life. Your self-worth starts to raise. It starts to rise up and you start to realize that you're never going to settle. You're never going to actually ask for less than you bloody deserve. Now guys, just a reminder, this episode isn't actually about selling. It's about finally understanding your freaking worth. So let's dive right back in with my boy Jay Shetty right here on Women of Impact. I've got a few more for you. Alright, difference between intuition or insecurity. How to tell if your gut is warning you or if past trauma is grouting your judgment. The difference between intuition and insecurity is insecurity is based on the past and intuition is based on the present. You don't want a bad past relationship to impact your notes on the relationship you're in today, but you want to check it. So if you have an insecurity, you should check it. If you have an intuition, you should check it. And I think the problem is we're trying to make decisions based on intuition or insecurity when actually what we should be doing is asking questions. So there's two questions I believe that everyone should ask as early as possible in a relationship. The first is, how do you show love? That person may say to you, I show love by always showing up on time. I show love by always picking up the phone. I show love by always responding to a text message. And all of a sudden you realize that you were just insecure about whether they loved you or not because you were measuring whether they loved you based on how your ex loved you, rather than asking them how do they show love? Because you didn't see them turning up on time as love. You saw it as being timely. You didn't see them picking up the phone as love, you saw that as being available. You didn't see them as texting back as being love, you saw them as being responsive. But that was love through being available responsibly because that's how they see love. And you should tell that person how you see love. Now you take away insecurities because now I don't have to guess whether a text or a lack of one is love or not Because the person's told me how they show love and the second question is What do you need when you're sad? What do you need when you're having a bad day? What would you like me to do? Because the truth is we're all guessing to our intuition fails us sometimes. We're thinking, what do I need on a bad day

and we're trying to give it to that person? And what's really interesting is we think people love the way we do. And when they don't, we feel hurt. So we feel, well, if I was stuck or having a bad day, I know I'd want to hug, I know I'd want a really nice message, I know I'd want you to turn up.

And so we do that to that person.

And that person goes,

where were we?

This is too much.

I didn't need this.

And we think, oh, well, that person doesn't love me.

They don't have... I know I'd want a really nice message. I know I'd want you to turn up. And so we do that to that person.

And that person goes,

where were we?

This is too much.

I didn't need this.

And we think, oh, well, that person doesn't love me.

They don't appreciate me.

But actually, we never checked him with them.

And so to me, intuition and insecurity are all about checking. And these are my two favorite questions. So good. Okay, let me give in the scenario for you then and I want you to let me navigate it. So let's

assume you're on a date and you really like them and you're like, oh my god, you have this connection. Maybe they're the one and my gut is telling me this is the one day so How do you know in that moment that your gut is telling you that that person is the right person or it's just the toxic pattern that you've had from told that says if someone acts like this, it means love. You don't know in that moment. You're gut's lying to you. It's just plain and simple. It's very unrealistic for anyone to know in the first month of dating, whether someone is the one or one of the people they'll be with.

Now, that person may evolve into the one,

but you can't truly guarantee you knew it in that moment. You may say that in hindsight, and a lot of people would be like, and by the way, me and Rady said that too. I felt like I knew that. By the way, when I met Rady, I knew in the first week, or the first couple of weeks that she was the one.

I would have said that then.

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