January 25, 2011

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Leisure, Comedy

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 25 January 2011

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke wonders why well-paid professionals turn into crazed monkeys when free food comes around, and speaking of free food, Jen tries to figure out her strategy with a gruff hobo who enjoys pawing through her garbage.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Oh, my family's gone, my dog hates me and I can't remember what happened last night. Was I here?
0:05.4	Was you ever?
0:06.4	He came in saying you really needed to forget something, so I mixed you up the most powerful drink I got.
0:11.9	The forget me shot.
0:13.7	Oh forget me shot, never heard of it.
0:16.0	That means it worked, no one ever remembers.
0:18.7	You start with a splash of yagamister, then add slow gin.
0:22.2	That triple sec, quadruple sec, gunk from a dog's eye, absolute pickle.
0:27.7	Mmm, pickle.
0:28.8	The red stripe from aquafresh and the funniest ingredient, the venom of the loezy and a lobotomoth.
0:35.2	You start with a home pregnancy test till it turns positive and presto.
0:41.1	The forget me shot.
0:42.4	T-B-T-L!
0:53.5	Well hey there folks, how about we do this?
0:56.0	A Tuesday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L.
0:58.8	It's the show that's probably too beautiful to live.
1:02.0	I'm your host, Luke Burbank, weighing in at 100 and 86 pounds,
1:09.1	which sadly enough represents a major improvement.
1:12.2	That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
1:14.3	Uh, in this situation, uh, based on the weekend, I'll be honest with you.
1:18.0	On Monday, I didn't even get on the scale.
1:19.6	I knew that whatever was going to come out of the health meter was going to lead to heartbreak.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from TBTL, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of TBTL and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.