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Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Callin, Humor, Aperol, Arts, Comedian, Entertainment, Advice, Personal572339, Funny, Instagram, Hotline, Female, Comedy, Heathermcmahon

4.9 • 13.6K Ratings

🗓️ 8 January 2020

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off her Mexican vacay with a strong case of diarrhea & more sass than ever. After being completely bamboozled by Guy Fieri at the Cancun Airport, witnessing a full blown drug deal and almost fighting a women doing crunches on the beach, she is back in one-piece in the USA. There is a lot to be grateful for in the New Year, but it also doesn't stop us from remembering where we came from.... ya know the bathroom at the Cancun Airport... did I mention Guy Fieri poisoned me????? All this and more on the latest episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast!

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Produced by Dear Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a DR Media production.
0:06.4	Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time.
0:12.3	I'm your host Heather McMahon.
0:17.4	All right boys and girls ladies and gentlemen, dogs and cats,
0:21.6	jirbles and ferrets. It's another episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast.
0:27.5	I'm your host Heather McMahon. I'm coming to you joyfully from Atlanta, Georgia.
0:31.7	I'm back in my mom's house for the week. I just got back from Mexico.
0:35.2	Touchdown, just a hot second, a bump and a skip ago, a bump.
0:40.6	Don't know why I said that. It's because I just came back from Mexico.
0:42.6	Did not do cocaine there. Was offered it many times. We'll get into that in just a moment.
0:47.8	I got plenty of South of the border, absolutely not.
0:50.8	And we're going to get into some of the, you know, the goals for 2020.
0:54.4	We're trying to accomplish what we're trying to not get, you know, in trouble with.
0:58.7	I don't know. We're doing the most not the least this year, but I do want to ease into the year.
1:03.1	You know what I mean? I got to catch my breath. We all got to take a second.
1:07.2	You know, this is a thing. I always start my workout regimen February.
1:11.2	I don't even fuck with January. This whole dry January to me to be honest with you
1:14.7	is an absolutely not personally for me. You want to know why? Because towards the end,
1:18.4	I decided I am not going to abuse alcohol. You know what I mean?
1:22.0	I think I was working so much towards the end. I didn't really drink that much.
1:26.0	Went on a lovely vacation to Mexico, but really kind of chilled.
1:30.5	Wasn't hit in the night clubs that disco texts, if you will.
	...

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