Is going no-contact with family a mistake or necessary? | Matt Monday
Love Life With Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey
4.7 • 3.1K Ratings
🗓️ 15 June 2026
⏱️ 14 minutes
🔗️ Recording | Apple Podcasts | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
One of the biggest misconceptions about family estrangement is that people do it lightly. They don't. And for many, the reality is far more painful…
The truth is, most people don't create distance because they stopped caring. They do it after years, sometimes decades or even an entire lifetime, of trying to make the relationship work.
The tragedy of estrangement is that it's often not a choice between connection and distance. It's a choice between preserving a relationship and preserving yourself.
In this episode, I talk about why the growing backlash against estrangement misses that reality, and why what looks like ruthless rejection from the outside is often deep heartbreak on the inside.
If you've ever struggled with the guilt, grief, or bittersweet relief that comes with creating distance from someone you love, I hope this conversation helps you feel less alone.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | In the last year, I have noticed a troubling trend, a wave of backlash against those who have |
| 0:11.0 | decided to cut ties with their family. In some cases, separating from family members is being |
| 0:16.6 | billed as the oversensitive product of a woke culture that made people break up with their families |
| 0:22.1 | over a difference in values or beliefs. Others have positioned it as running away from doing the work |
| 0:27.3 | that we need to do in order to be able to handle or even resolve our differences. That the spiritually |
| 0:34.1 | whole path lies in negotiating the difficulties with that person with a new level |
| 0:39.6 | of equanimity or even in discovering newfound peace and forgiveness within that relationship. |
| 0:46.5 | Some of these messages are from truly well-meaning people. |
| 0:50.1 | Some are from people who have a dangerous lack of experience in the area they're talking about. |
| 0:55.0 | And I think sometimes it comes from people who have a personal interest in shaming those who become estranged from their family |
| 1:02.0 | because they are the very kind of person one would wish to become estranged from. |
| 1:07.0 | I am Matthew Hussey. I have been a coach for over 18 years of my life helping people build |
| 1:11.9 | confidence, heal from the past and develop relational intelligence. Please subscribe to this channel |
| 1:18.1 | if you want to see more content from me and like this video so that other people who need it |
| 1:23.0 | will see it. Today I want to talk about the virtues of estrangement and why the notion that this is simply an extreme response by people who have a stunted ability to deal with differences in relationships is not just a distraction but dangerous. |
| 1:37.3 | Let's first get this out of the way. Are there some people who cut off their parents or their families for reasons that defy rationality |
| 1:45.6 | and will later regret it? Of course. There are also those who do it because of a genuine |
| 1:51.0 | personality disorder, where the intention behind it is at best ignorant and devoid of empathy, |
| 1:56.7 | and in some cases even malicious or sadistic, a way to punish family members by freezing them out |
| 2:02.4 | or making it so that parents don't get to see their grandchildren. But I believe the majority of |
| 2:07.3 | people who decide to become estranged from someone as foundational as their own parent fit a very |
| 2:13.2 | different profile. Most who do become estranged do so at an extraordinary pain threshold at the |
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