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Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time.

I'm your host Heather McMan.

Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another episode of the

Absolutely Not Podcast. I'm your host Heather McMan. How the hell are you?

It's 6am here in Atlanta. I've tried to record this podcast 18 friggin times, but here we are.

We're going to get into it. Why am I up this early? You know, they say early bird gets the worm,

or if you wake up and your fingers are numb and you have to put them above your heart in order

for the blood to drain so that you then get feeling back and said fingers, you basically roll over

and go, fuck it. I guess it's time to start my day. That's where I met Will the sub date really

fucking unwell. I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. I felt like the pressure

was on to host. We had some friends over and it just became one of those things where at one

point I just could not fucking relax. There was no relaxation and not that Memorial Day is about

relaxation. It's about honoring the people who have died for us. We are memorializing the people

who have died for us, but obviously we're all selfish, horrible human beings. So we take the

data, make a sharp cutery board and pretend like life's so okay. But I got to be very raw real

and honest with y'all. I have emotionally not been doing well. I put on a good cover. I put on a

brave face, but then there are moments where I wake up at 540 in the morning. My arms are numb,

and I'm like, this is it. This is the stroke slash heart attack slash I don't know.

Pancreatic cancer that's looming for me because it runs in the family and it becomes a dark

spiral. And I'm just being very fucking honest with you. Listen, is it a mixture of the hormones

that I've been taking to try and make embryos for sure? Is it the professional pressure I've been

...