“I’ll Be Taking It Straight Back!” - When Gift Effort Isn’t Matched at Christmas & Work Party Drama!
The Therapy Crouch
Therapy Crouch
4.7 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 23 December 2025
⏱️ 35 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On today’s festive episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are fully embracing the chaos as Christmas Eve quickly approaches.
With Santa hats on and patience running low, the pair dive headfirst into the realities of family life at the most wonderful (and stressful) time of year. From mismatched gift expectations and Secret Santa dramas to the unseen mental load that comes with organising Christmas, nothing is off-limits.
The episode is packed with classic Crouchy banter, including a Christmas bike purchase that didn’t quite go to plan, debates over midweek work parties, and why men somehow always miss the brief when it comes to presents. In the Agony Abs, listeners write in with festive dilemmas ranging from clashing family traditions to the disappointment of unbalanced effort under the tree.
There’s laughter, a few emotional moments, and plenty of honest reflection on what Christmas is really about — slowing down, being together, and surviving the madness as a family.
A proper festive Therapy Crouch, just in time for the big day.
00:00 - Chaotic Christmas energy and opening jokes
00:49 - Father Christmas enters the chat
01:33 - When your partner hates your jokes
02:14 - Christmas presents and control arguments
02:43 - Brutal “you’re middle-aged now” voice note
04:49 - Abbey vs Peter: who actually does everything?
06:15 - Mental load of Christmas and invisible labour
09:19 - Bike-gate: the kids’ disastrous Christmas bikes
11:20 - Secret Santa spiralling out of control
15:18 - Why midweek Christmas parties are a nightmare
17:04 - Unexpected deep dive into nature documentaries
20:48 - Emotional moment about losing a family pet
22:12 - Why Christmas is about slowing life down
25:29 - Agony Ab: clashing family Christmas traditions
31:17 - Agony Ab: unmatched effort in Christmas gifts
35:03 - What Christmas is really about
35:52 - Final Christmas chaos and sign-off
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I get you a little step ladder. |
| 0:01.9 | Because when I move out, you won't be able to reach one. |
| 0:07.1 | Tushay. |
| 0:08.1 | Things can be sent back. |
| 0:09.2 | It will be getting sent back because it'll be fucking ours. |
| 0:13.2 | I'll be pissed myself soon. |
| 0:16.4 | Thursday night. |
| 0:18.0 | Glad to look forward to. |
| 0:38.4 | Okay, so Pete, what do we need? Well, we need people to subscribe because obviously we're making this top quality content. And I do hate these little bits where everyone goes, oh, please subscribe, we really need it. But it just does make a difference. So if you like it, then please hit the button. Yeah, like link him, subscribe. You can never say that. |
| 0:39.8 | It's great. |
| 0:41.0 | Like link and subscribe. |
| 0:42.1 | That's staying in. |
| 0:46.8 | Hello and welcome to the therapy crouch with me, Abby Clancy. |
| 0:48.7 | And me, Peter Crouch. |
| 0:50.0 | Father Chris is my week. Oh, hello. |
| 0:52.4 | I hope you've got a nice full sack for me. |
| 0:54.7 | Certainly have. |
| 0:59.2 | Ready to unload, my darling. |
| 1:02.2 | Surely we can't say that. |
| 1:04.4 | You can say, maybe it's our pod. |
| 1:06.2 | It's Christmas. |
| 1:07.1 | No one's listening to anyway. |
... |
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