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Absolutely Not

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Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Callin, Humor, Aperol, Arts, Comedian, Entertainment, Advice, Personal572339, Funny, Instagram, Hotline, Female, Comedy, Heathermcmahon

4.913.6K Ratings

🗓️ 29 December 2021

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this final episode of the Absolutely Not podcast of 2021- Heather ends the year strong- on an emotional rollercoaster of barely holding her shit together. It's obvious all of the listeners are fully spiraling as well - like the High School Musical says "were all in this together". Whether you're fighting omicron or just fighting with your family, Heather takes to the Absolutely NOT line to set the record straight!

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Produced by Dear Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0

The following podcast is a dear media production.

0:06.6

Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time.

0:12.4

I'm your host Heather McMahon.

0:17.5

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast.

0:22.8

Hope you're well. Hope your holiday was well. Hope you're feeling good.

0:26.4

I'm just probably going to say it. I don't mean to start off the episode in a negative way,

0:31.5

but probably by the time you listen to this, everyone has COVID again.

0:38.9

Like I don't I've been boosted. I've been, you know, chipped. I've had thermometer up my butt.

0:44.9

And I don't even think that's a part of the COVID medical protocol. And I am recording this

0:50.0

a week before it airs. So I just want you to know, things could probably take a wild turn.

0:54.8

Scarlett could absolutely take a tumble before this. But just if you're listening to this,

0:59.2

probably everyone has COVID by the time this episode airs. And that's not me being negative.

1:05.3

That's just where we're at. It is absolutely fucking alarming. Here we are. You know, I really

1:11.8

wanted to end this the end of the year on just a real positive encouraging note. But I think last

1:17.3

week's episode was probably as much of a wellness check-in as we could do. But here we are going

1:23.5

towards the end of the year. And every single fucking person I know is sick. Every fucking person I

1:32.8

know. I've been swabbed a million times. By the time this episode comes out, I don't know where,

1:37.8

where I'll be. Okay. I'm doing this just a week early just so I can get this to my producer. So

1:43.3

she can have a beautiful relaxing Christmas as we all should be able to take some time off.

1:48.2

But I just wanted to encourage you, you know, I know it's such bullshit. I don't know if I said it

1:53.6

last week, but all of these memes that are online about us finishing the year strong, you know,

1:58.9

finish it strong. Finish it strong. Shut the fuck up. My first absolutely not of the week is

...

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