How to Stay Naughty at 40: Abbey’s Bday Bonanza Debrief
The Therapy Crouch
Therapy Crouch
4.7 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 20 January 2026
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter unpack the chaos of Abbey’s long awaited 40th birthday — and it’s safe to say Peter surpassed all of our expectations.
In classic Therapy Crouch style, there was a couple of bumps a long the way - think Simply Red, Spoilt surprises and gift giving headaches - yet Crouchy still scores a 10/10 for this one!
In the Agony Abs, we hear from a listener who is in desperate need of advice on how to avoid ‘Cringe-fest’ boys with a penchant for T-shirt designs as well as from a listener whose ‘parasite’ housemate is threatening to ruin their ‘new year, new me’ mojo.
It’s funny, unfiltered, weirdly touching — and proof that even the most chaotic surprises can go right (kind of).
00:04:00 – Abbey’s obsession with “bone” colored paint sparks a hilarious marital debate
00:11:30 – Listener writes in about surprise “I Love India” breakup shirt
00:18:45 – Bowling ball etiquette: when men lose on dates
00:25:00 – Abbey’s flu… or birthday hangover?
00:30:40 – Abbey recaps the full surprise Paris birthday weekend (gifts, glam, family lies)
00:39:50 – Pete admits he left Abbey’s designer gift on the train
00:44:20 – IVF struggle story and Abbey’s heartfelt response on fertility & motherhood
00:50:50 – New Year, nightmare roommate: listener agony advice
00:56:00 – The nail injury that made headlines (and cancelled Pete’s golf)
01:00:10 – Reflections on why the birthday surprise meant everything
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'll bone you in it. |
| 0:02.0 | I hope so. |
| 0:04.0 | I hope so. |
| 0:05.0 | Boy, I'm just trying about pegging. |
| 0:08.0 | Shut up, me a dad. |
| 0:10.0 | Mommy, mommy, mommy. |
| 0:12.0 | What's James? |
| 0:14.0 | Just some people I put the fingers in age, some of the birthday. |
| 0:18.0 | Only finger tense. |
| 0:20.0 | You're not. some of the birth dates up on the only finger tens I'm going to |
| 0:22.9 | break it out there |
| 0:26.2 | slide down my pole any day |
| 0:29.9 | they're joking |
| 0:30.8 | hello and welcome to the therapy |
| 0:32.9 | crouch with me Abby Clancy |
| 0:34.9 | me Peter Crouch |
| 0:36.0 | Gustav on your nose |
| 0:37.4 | yeah God so with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. Gus for on your nose? Yeah. Go on. It's contour. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah. I'm meant to look like that. I've come in from the stables. I've been drowned. I'm like a drowned rat, so I haven't had time to get ready. Okay. And I just thought I'd try and contour my nose a little bit. |
| 0:54.8 | What's contour? Well, seen as though I just haven't stopped eating since Christmas. |
| 1:00.5 | I need to draw in some bones. Okay, okay. Talking to bone, actually, Ab, right? She's talking about |
| 1:08.4 | looking at houses, she's always looking at houses, always sending me houses. And something that came up the other day, right, she said to me, look at this, babe, what do you think? Lovely. All you do, just paint that all bone. Bone? Yeah, so I've been saying. Just paint this bone. We've viewed about seven million houses. And I just said, right, paint all this bone. And then we were lying in bed and Pete said, babe, what color? What color? I'm assuming white. What's just all Abby says? Like a bone. Just paint that bone and I've let it slide. I've laid it slide for about six months. Yeah. And he got to the stage where I was like, I had to go, babe, what the fuck is bone? |
| 1:44.3 | Yeah. |
... |
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