Welcome back to the look and sound of leadership.

An ongoing series of executive coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

I'm Tom Henshiel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about how to deepen relationships at work.

Grace's performance reviews showed high marks for projects and processes.

Her skills with people, however, scored quite low.

During our first coaching conversation, talking about what she wanted from the coaching,

she said, I'd like to learn

how to be likable. I've always been the smart one, the unflappable one, but I've never been

that good with people. And in this company, I see it. Relationships are currency. My balance is

pretty low. I asked, when you say you were always the smart one, how far back are you talking?

My parents were scientists, she said.

They made me feel smart, since I was a little girl, which was great for problem solving and

thinking things out, but not so great for making friends.

I was the school nerd.

I didn't speak.

She said,

It's been bothering me with my one-on-ones.

I always schedule at least 30 minutes on my calendar,

but we rarely use it all.

They sit down, we go through our lists, they get up, they leave.

We talk about work,

but after that, I don't have much to say. I know that's why I get those low scores. I just don't know what to do differently. I asked, well, if you wanted to talk about something that wasn't

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