Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago

and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations.

I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-health doesn't have to be so complicated. I guess I want to start with this. It's a question to you because it's something that I've

been holding on to with two hands. It's slippery. It's something I have to remind myself to keep because I like many people

can get into my head in relationships. The question is, how is your relationship making you stretch?

And how are all the ways that this relationship that you're in or actually any

relationship pick one how is it making you stretch? I think because or at least for me if I don't consciously ask myself

that and see that this thing the two people are building is a catalyst to their growth is going to bring resistance, is going to be challenging.

If I don't remind myself that the point of your investment isn't just to give and receive love but for it to hold up a mirror you know and

a this is what makes relationships really hard, but also B, it's the value in the relationship.

And I think this is something that we have to remind ourselves that the value in a relationship ultimately isn't just the feel goods right isn't just the

the sex the banter eating out the valuable, but the core, the nucleus, if you will, the nugget of gold in any relationship is that it is going to grow you. And I think what's

amazing is because you love this person, you are willing to look at yourself, your behavior, how you are And so like that's the leverage that the relationship has because who would actually

look at themselves if there was nothing at stake, you know? There usually is something

at stake, or you hit some kind of bottom or something happens in your life where you want to make a change.

But when you choose to invest in someone,

the love is leverage, the investment is leverage in you not running and sitting with and processing and looking at. And so if you don't look at your

relationship like this if this is not the reframe for you if you don't remind yourself then the default

naturally is going to be running away resisting where I say a lot taking a black light to your relationship, seeing the stains, feeding all of the things

that make the relationship not equal the fantasy, right?

And if you allow yourself to do that, and I'm sure that you have, as I have,

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