Hi, friends, welcome to ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. I'm so glad you're here. In each episode, I coach a listener through a tough question about mental health, personal growth, family relationships, or faith journeys. My goal is to help you think, feel, or do something differently to improve your life because you listen to this podcast. I want you to step into your power and create a

life you love. Let's get started. I'm thrilled to welcome Amanda to the show today. Hi, Amanda.

Hi, how are you? I'm good. Thanks for joining me today. Yeah, no problem. Thank you for having me. What is your question for me today?

So right now, I currently feel like I have a lot of expectations for my spouse. And some of them, I think, are valid, like chores and household work. And maybe we could get that later. But there's some that I feel like

are almost unfair and it's more of religious expectations that I have. Okay. And maybe just to

give you a little bit of background, like me and my spouse, we both grew up in the LDS church.

And I left for a long time, But when I met him, he kind of

reintroduced me to church. And it's been great together. And I know, like, I think the most important

thing is I know that we have the same long-term goals. Like, he has a testimony of the gospel and we want to be

sealed. But there's some things that

I struggle with when we're at church. Like, for example, sometimes he'll have his phone out during

the meetings or when we're singing hymns, like he won't want to sing them with me or during

conference he'll play video games.

And so I don't know if that's just because how I was raised.

But yeah, anyways, I feel like it's almost not fair because he should be able to worship how he wants.

But I just have these desires from him.

And so, yeah, just curious if you have any, any tips on how I could let go of

those expectations. Yeah, I'm curious before I, before we go there, how have you handled this

in the past? Yeah. So I mainly just brought it up to him. There's been a couple times where

after church, I'll ask him like, hey, I would really love it if you would sing with me or if you could put your phone away.

And I think after me doing it so many times, it's just really frustrating to him because he just doesn't want to do it.

Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, he's a grown-up, right? Yeah. And you have these expectations like a good church member should sing the hymns, put their phone away during church, listen to conference without multitasking.

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