How can I talk about modesty to my tween step-daughter without undermining the contradictory thoughts of her mother?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 5 December 2023

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I sit down with Emma and answer the question, “How can I talk about modesty to my tween step-daughter without undermining the contradictory thoughts of her mother?” Emma views modesty as a broad topic that covers how we think and behave, while her step-daughter’s mom ascribes to stricter dress code rules. They have different opinions, and Emma wants to be respectful of that while also upholding different rules in her own home.I tell Emma that it’s okay for her step-daughter t...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to
0:23.2	prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your fate. I'm your host,
0:29.2	Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women
0:34.6	all over the world heal themselves and their relationships. Join me here every
0:39.3	week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them with tools to find healing.
0:45.3	I'm so happy to welcome Emma to the podcast today. Hi, Emma. Hi, thanks so much for having me.
0:52.2	Oh, I'm glad you're here. What is your question for me today?
0:56.7	My question is how do I navigate conversations with my stepdaughter around the topic of modesty
1:04.0	when her mom has a different perspective than mine and I want to be respectful of that.
1:09.6	Okay. How are you defining modesty?
1:14.0	Yeah, I think, I mean, I think of modesty and a broad concept of how we act and behave.
1:19.3	I think that the specific example that has come up, maybe the unit that her mom has focused on is
1:26.1	specifically how she dresses and the clothing she chooses
1:28.8	and what her appearance looks like. I think it's much broader than that. But the topics that have
1:34.6	come up so far have been specific to appearance. Okay. Gotcha. So more like dress code. Yes.
1:42.2	Like family dress code. Okay. Gotcha. And then what are what are your differences?
1:47.3	like what how do you see it versus how does mom see it? Yeah. And I think to be fair to her,
1:54.3	we haven't had 80 in-depth conversations. So some of this is the brief parts that we talked about
1:59.0	and some of it is my assumptions. So to be fair to her.
2:02.1	Yeah.
2:03.0	You know, I think my perspective is that you should wear a tire that's appropriate to the activity.
2:09.4	Don't wear a snowsuit to the pool.
	...

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