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Absolutely Not

Hope and a Prayer

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Callin, Humor, Aperol, Arts, Comedian, Entertainment, Advice, Personal572339, Funny, Instagram, Hotline, Female, Comedy, Heathermcmahon

4.913.6K Ratings

🗓️ 3 September 2025

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode, Heather is in Atlanta and gearing up for a couple of wild upcoming weeks. She chats about the stresses of still living with Robin and solutions like joining a dojo or becoming a kickboxer. Decision fatigue has fully set in.  She takes your voicemails about psychotic husband behavior, how to be a good neighbor, southern pronunciations, what the heck is happening with Sacramento show as well as the Unwell weekend.


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The following podcast is a dear media production.

0:07.6

Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most and the least at this same damn time.

0:13.8

I'm your host, Heather McMahon.

0:26.8

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not podcast.

0:28.0

I'm your host, Heather McMahon.

0:29.6

I look rough under here.

0:31.8

I've got fresh hair from salty locks.

0:34.3

My hair looks fantastic.

0:39.1

But underneath, I put on makeup, but it's still, it's just busted. And I'm in an oversized jean jacket that I know will make me look like the size of Kilimanjaro on YouTube,

0:45.8

but I don't care. Because here we are. Football's back. Sports are back. We're doing sports,

0:52.5

and we're having a blast. Fall is here. You are queer. I need a drink. And I'm a dink, which is dual income. No kids. That's what's up. I was on my hot girl walk yesterday. And it was it was the labor. It was the day of labor. And I'll tell you what, it was a little too

1:12.6

chilly for my liking. Now, I'm ready for fall. Once Labor Day comes, summer's over. Put up the

1:18.3

white shorts, pack up the bathing suits. I don't want to be in a bathing suit until March 15th,

1:24.2

the spring break on my birthday. Okay. Well, I don't want to talk about it. This is my time

1:28.8

to fatten up. But I was on my hot girl walk yesterday with my weighted vest and my waist trainer

1:35.3

and my ankle weights, don't ask. I'm not even using the waist trainer to train the waist. I have,

1:40.7

because everybody's been doing these weighted vest, which I wear.

1:46.0

But the problem is if you have a bad lower back, it kind of fucks up your back.

1:50.4

So I bought this waist trainer thing just to hold my back up so my posture would be good with the weighted vest.

1:59.5

So I'm not even training the waist. I'm just trying to

2:02.1

stay upright is where I'm at. And then I have my little ankle weights and I was on my walk.

2:08.3

And it felt so nice out yesterday, but it got a little too crispy. Hear me out. For September 1st,

...

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