Has Pete LOST The Household? - Abbey’s New Puppy, Dads Night Out & Nit-Fuelled Nightmares
The Therapy Crouch
Therapy Crouch
4.7 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 25 November 2025
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s a full-on domestic rollercoaster as Abbey and Peter catch up on a chaotic week of nits, new puppies, and the great household power shift.
Abbey walks us through a full-blown nit prevention emergency that had her sprinting between ten shops and before getting a fringe, while Pete attempts to defend himself after the time he once cut off her entire hair extension at the root during a previous lice saga.
We’re also introduced to the newest — and slightly controversial — family member: Bambi, the tiny dog who arrived under Abbey’s jumper after Pete had very explicitly said “absolutely no way” to another pet. Between debates about who actually runs the house, the kids’ obsession with babies, and Pete being caught lying face-down on a bare mattress after a dads night out, the domestic chaos is at an all-time high.
The pair also chat I’m A Celeb (even if neither of them seems to know the lineup), over-share in true Therapy Crouch style, and dive into some incredibly relatable listener dilemmas — from clingy partners to golf-related relationship politics. It’s a wholesome, mad, and very Therapy Crouch-style catch-up.
00:00:18 — Fringe chaos & shopping mishaps
00:01:20 — Movember moustache “glow up”
00:02:07 — The nit apocalypse begins
00:02:24 — Pete once cut Abbey’s hair off at the root
00:03:15 — Bambi the dog arrives (against Pete’s will)
00:04:15 — Abbey’s childhood pet trauma
00:19:29 — “Quality not quantity” relationship chat
00:20:41 — The coconut oil dog incident
00:23:21 — Did Pete sneak out at 3am?
00:24:53 — Glasgow Rangers lie + football dad stories
00:26:41 — eBay argument: golf clubs vs dresses
00:27:39 — “Chat GBT” chaos
00:28:47 — The 10pm nit-combing meltdown
00:35:35 — Too many knobs & taps dilemma
00:36:05 — Weekly catch-up: horse riding, football matches, date night
00:37:10 — Pete asleep face-down on a bare mattress
00:37:31 — Listener writes in about small annoyances in relationships
00:52:45 — “He’s not trying to escape… probably.”
00:53:01 — Golf politics
00:53:29 — The great golf argument
00:54:04 — “You’re the worst couch of all time.”
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Please, don't try and a. |
| 0:02.0 | Please. |
| 0:03.0 | That was the quote. |
| 0:04.0 | Pat, if you can't see that, you shouldn't be driving now. |
| 0:11.0 | Oh my good God. |
| 0:12.0 | I'm sweating now. |
| 0:14.0 | I'm actually embarrassed and I'm never embarrassed by the else. |
| 0:18.0 | Hello and welcome to The Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. Aya! Hiya, Ross. I love your new haircuts. Yeah, my um... Oh, I've got a funny story. Go on. Hold on, what's going to? You've gone for a fringe, you know? I've gone for a bit of a fringe, but I've chickened out a bit, so it's a bit long. You look nice. |
| 0:37.8 | You look like R. Ellie. Do I? Good. Which is a compliment. Well, fucking Elle. I went shopping with, um, Sophia and Elle. Yeah. On the weekend. And three times, someone said to me, God, your daughters are so like you, aren't they? I'm like, my sister's 27. |
| 0:54.9 | Do I look like I could have a 27-year-old? |
| 0:57.5 | No, but Elle does look very young. She does, she does, she does. But you know, you are with your daughter, so. My daughter's 5 foot 11. Elle's 5 foot 5. Elle could look 27 or 15. Yeah, she could. That's why I'm saying that's a compliment when I said you look like R. Ellie. No, I know. I wish I look like my sister. They're real lips. No, you look good. So you, Pedro, I'm kind of growing on the tash now. Yeah. The tash is growing on me I should say that's not my funny story it's growing on me |
| 1:28.0 | actually |
| 1:28.4 | yeah |
| 1:29.5 | I was delighted when my horse riding so when you posted the picture of me when I posted the picture of me with November auntie my horse riding coach is like now we're talking I was like I knew you'd fancy me one day I might have to grow a tash just for him |
| 1:44.9 | but yet funny He'd fancy me one day. So I might have to grow a tash just for him. |
| 1:47.4 | But yeah, funny story. |
| 1:48.7 | So a bit of chaos last night, my friend, we had a kids party. |
| 1:53.2 | And then there was that we got a message on the what school, |
| 1:58.8 | WhatsApp group, there's nits going around. |
| 2:00.6 | Fuck, yeah. So I had a heart attack had to leave the party Drove around about 10 different shops To get the knit solution Shut off And do all the kids with the Nits Because I'm petrified of them So my hair didn't get done So it's been done this morning My Fringe Looks cool, it looks good I've never had Nits. Have you ever had a Nitzby? Yeah, I had Nitz at school. We used to have to have to Nitt Ness, came to our school a couple of times, |
| 2:21.2 | and I was all right. it's been done this morning, my fringe. It looks cool. I've never had knits. Have you ever had knit to be? |
| 2:18.0 | Yeah, I've had knits at school. |
... |
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