Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy | Boundaries, Breakups & Boredom

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2026

⏱️ 17 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, John answers listener questions about breakups, emotional cheating, boredom in relationships, scarcity mindset, defensiveness, and what it really means to compromise without abandoning yourself. Why is it harder to let go when things ended “well”? Is emotional cheating still cheating? When do needs become “demands”? And how much space is too much space for an avoidant partner? This episode is about self-respect, emotional safety, and learning how to stay connected without losing yourself. We explore: Running into an ex and how to handle it Letting go after a breakup (especially when it ends abruptly) Scarcity vs. abundance in dating Emotional cheating and betrayal Compromise vs. self-abandonment Defensiveness and where it comes from Boredom in relationships Giving avoidant partners space Conflict over household structure If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re asking for too much — or settling for too little — this one’s for you. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:30.3	Things you would never bring up in therapy, you could bring up here.
0:49.3	Have you ever run into an ex? Was it awkward? How do you deal with that?
0:57.7	To be honest with you, I would love to sit down with every single one of my exes, every single one.
1:05.8	Not to get back into their lives, but just to have a conversation, see how they're doing, wish them well.
1:08.9	Apologize for some things, you know.
1:14.0	I think we live in a world where we draw such hard lines with our exes.
1:22.6	And I know that, you know, people have hurt each other. I know there might have been chaotic and toxic relationships.
1:35.4	But I don't think it's a blanket statement for all exes that we should eject them out of our lives and pretend like they don't exist anymore, you know?
1:50.0	I would love to sit down with exes and have a cup of coffee and just looked them in the eye and make sure they don't hate me.
1:56.7	I know a lot of my exes probably have some feelings toward me.
2:00.9	So I think it's a gift.
2:06.5	I think it's a gift if you have an opportunity to sit down with an ex and just have, you know, a heartfelt conversation.
2:08.9	I think more of that is needed in this world.
2:13.7	How do you let go of a relationship that ended on good terms?
2:21.2	I know it's easier to be angry than sad, but know that most relationships do not end on good terms. I know it's easier to be angry than sad, but know that most relationships do not end on good terms. So you have a gift that you have a relationship that ended with people still
2:27.6	loving each other, even if it's not romantic. I'm assuming you're asking me this because
	...

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