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93X Half-Assed Morning Show

Happy April Fools Day!

93X Half-Assed Morning Show

93X | Cumulus Media Minneapolis | KXXR-FM

News, Sports News, Comedy Interviews, Comedy, Music

4.7972 Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2026

⏱️ 160 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Originally Aired April 1, 2026: Minnesota Wild Marcus Foligno. Don't stop, be leaving. Everything you wanna know about fake farts.  

Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/
Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:
Twitter/X: @93XHAMS
Facebook: @93XHAMS
Instagram: @93XHAMS
Email the show: HAMS93X@gmail.com 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there.

0:02.5

Wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie. I'm a wing lover and, of course, a smart club member because I trust my home comfort to standard heating the air conditioning, and I really think you should too. Right now, it's HVAC mania, and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tune-up, normally $148.

0:24.4

And no, it's not. These deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tune-up, normally $148.

0:24.3

And no, it's never too late to show your furnace of love.

0:27.0

And if your system is about to crash out like a five-seat against a 12, now's the time

0:31.0

to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning.

0:36.1

Go to standard heating.com and mention 93X.

0:38.8

Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.

0:43.1

The 93X half-ass morning show.

0:46.3

Ninety-three.

0:48.0

Air.

0:51.9

Don't like April Fool's Day, morons playing pranks on you.

1:00.0

Ah, April Fool's!

1:02.0

If you're one of the millions of people addicted to April Fool's Day pranks, help has arrived

1:08.0

at the April Fool's Day Treatment Center.

1:10.0

I will not cover toilet seats with saran wrap.

1:13.9

Here you'll receive the kind of specialized treatment needed to break the cycle of practical joke addiction.

1:19.5

I will not fill soap dispensers with crazy glue.

1:22.9

Call today for a free evaluation.

1:24.8

I will not call the airport and page Michael Hunt. And let the

1:29.2

healing begin. April Fool, motherfucker. Well, F. F F Fee. April Fool's Day, huh? I would have missed it all together had you not said something. Yeah, today's the day. I don't get into it as much as I used to as a young person. I guess, heads up. You might be the one who gets got today on April Fool's Day. Welcome to the Half-Hast Morning Show. What are you talking about? What were some of the things you did as a young person?

2:01.2

Well, when my kids were young specifically, I like to mess with them all the time, but certainly on April Fool's Day.

...

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