Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago

and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations.

I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-health doesn't have to be so complicated.

It's 540 a.m. and I am parked in front of a coffee shop. They open it 6. If it's this early and I'm outside a coffee shop it means I'm working on a book.

So I'm writing my first love slash relationship book that I've written on my own. I authored a book with my

partner called It's Not Me Too. This one is just me and it's called Loving on Purpose.

And in the book, the part that I'm writing right now

is about how when we get into relationships and of course I've done this I would say pretty much every time I've got into relationship.

We put less energy and effort into

friendships and what happens is we slowly expect our partner to fulfill all our social needs. Now it's easier for someone like me

who's an introvert than someone like my partner who's an extrovert because she

naturally, I can't give her enough, I can't give her enough social needs.

She needs more so she is always making friends, she's putting all, she putting a lot of energy and effort into her

friendships. She always has and it's super important to her. And you know what's

interesting is I, like for example, last night she says, hey I'm not going to do bedtime, I'm going to go see a movie with a friend after I take Pilates or I teach a class at six

I'll go straight from there and of course that's fine yeah you do whatever you want and

I got I got it right but there's this little part of me that's like I don't

know what it is maybe it's like a feeling of abandonment on a super deeper level but there's this little part of me it's like

Ah you're going out I mean we would just you know watch TV and go to sleep anyway it's not like we

don't have anything it's not like we're doing anything, you know?

We made love the night before, so I know it's not happening tonight.

...