Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life

lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-health doesn't have to be so complicated.

I want to start with a quote today. This is by James Hollis. It is no accident that the primary

motive, the hidden agenda in any relationship, is the yearning to return.

And the way that I interpret this is the return is the return to self.

What I think is really interesting by relationships.

On one hand I think it's what makes relationships so difficult but also I think there's a there's a

miracle in this and that is that after the attraction of course you know after the

honeymoon stage there's going to stage, there's going to be contrast, there's going to be differences, there's going to be things you discover about this person that activate you, right?

And I'm not just talking about the the way that he doesn't put the tooth

paste cap back on or

Her spending habit or his dirty socks on the floor or the way that she choose.

I'm talking about activation from childhood wounds.

I'm talking about activation from different attachment styles. That kind of stuff, right? Stuff that is tied to our story.

If you don't work through that activation then of course the relationship dies you run or numb find

someone else and this pattern happens where you just the only thing that changes

is faces right if you work through the activation using your relationship as, it would be like an emotional mental gym, if you will,

right? Putting in a lot of reps, reviewing your story and why you do what you do.

And as two people work through this activation, then on the other side of that,

because what happens is then the relationship container they build becomes greater than its parts

...