Welcome to the Art of Charm. I'm your host Jordan Harbinger. I'm here with both producer Jason to Philipo and Kim Celter. Hi Kim. Hey, why?

Yeah, I'm glad that you were able to join us here at the Art of Charm. We don't have all the answers, but we definitely have all the right questions today on fan mail Friday. Those questions come from you and then Kim and I are gonna answer some of those.

If you're new to the Art of Charm podcast fan mail Friday. It's a great look. I people love this. What can I say? But there's a lot more long format content interviews with people that you may or may not have heard of.

So check out the best of at the Art of Charm.com slash best. We also have a fundamentals toolbox at the Art of Charm.com slash toolbox. That's where we've got things like body language, nonverbal communication, attraction, networking negotiation, influence persuasion. All that good stuff that we teach here at the Art of Charm during our live programs.

We'll send all that stuff to your inbox if you text charmed at C H A R M E D to 3 3 4 4 only works in the US, which is lame. But if you're anywhere else, you can just go to the Art of Charm.com. All right, Kim, let's let's do this. We've got some really, really interesting questions.

And the first one comes from hopeless romantic Jason, take it away for us.

Hi Jordan in the Art of Charm family. I've been binge listening to your podcast for quite a while now and really appreciate all that you do. All of the advice offered from different perspectives and backgrounds has definitely opened my eyes and changed the way I perceive and interact with the world.

Something I regularly struggle with is a feeling of emptiness and I'm hoping you might have some advice for me in particular. I've been single for about a year now with some micro relationships here and there. And nothing I do seems to fill that hole in my heart.

The hole isn't from the previous relationship, but rather the lack of someone to love. I have a full time job that pays my bills, a pet, loads of hobbies that keep me busy and fit, have done a lot of traveling by myself, a wide variety of supportive friends, live alone and I'm totally comfortable with it and who I am as a person.

Room mates are out of the question at least for a year or two. I'm bored with my job, but I'm starting night school soon to change my career into an area I'm passionate about.

So I feel like everything on my end is taken care of in regards to being happy with my life. I'm the type of person that unconditionally loves once I find someone I'm interested in immediately falling head over heels time and time again to the point where I've fallen to a pit that I've managed to keep myself out of.

People in the pit are all past mistakes I know I should stay away from dating sites and apps, no strings attached sex, friends with benefits, relationships I knew weren't right for me from the start, etc.

I feel whole as a person and I'm not actively seeking a relationship through dating, but this consistent ache for a partner will drive me crazy until I found one.

The problem is I know now not to let anyone who knocks into my life anymore and wait for someone who meshes well with my life and treats me the same way I treat them. How do I quench this? Am I doing something wrong?

Thank you for your time and I hope you can help me. Signed hopeless romantic.

So Kim, the first thing that struck me is like you'd said pre-show, there's a lot of questions in some of these questions.

So what's going on? Why do people, first of all, why do people do that? Is that just a writing thing or is it having, is she having trouble actually narrowing down what her issue really is? That's kind of what it sounds like.

Yeah, well I think issues are layered. I mean that's part of the thing. It's like perfect.

And I think actually when people start writing, they figure out it's not just one problem, there's a lot of things going on.

And I find this to be true when I'm coaching, you know somebody will call in with a issue, quote unquote, our problem. And as we dive in and we kind of peel away the layers, we then determine that there's other things going on.

I think you're right. I think it has to do with the layers, like you mentioned, but I know whenever I think whenever I'm first starting to think about a problem, it's almost never the same thing after I'm done looking at it a lot.

Right. And I feel it's like, oh, this person's always bust in my chops. And then it's like, oh, I'm sensitive about these topics because and then there's this whole thing that has nothing to do with the person generally.

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