meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos

Everyone Needs to SHUT UP! | Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos | EP 46

Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos

Chris Distefano

Comedy, Comedy Interviews

4.72.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 December 2021

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

WELCOME to Chrissy Chaos! Chrissy Chaos is joined by surprise guest RONA19!!!! WE are locked down in the Garage aka the Chaos Health Center! Chris vs Covy!!! LETS GO! Remember to rate us on iTunes and Join our Patreon for a WEEKLY bonus ep! patreon.com/chrisdcomedy FOLLOW THE CLIPS PAGE! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbu7rQDxBYMsuKQeX-x4fEQ/videos CHRISDCOMEDY.COM for all upcoming live comedy show dates FOLLOW Chris Distefano On Social Media Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/​ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy​ Follow Chris' podcast with Sal Vulcano called HEY BABE! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD8I...​ ​ Filmed and Edited by THEHOMELESSPIMP https://www.instagram.com/thehomeless... Twitter - https://twitter.com/homelesspimp?lang=en ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of Chrissy chaos. We are doing it today from the garage because everyone in that house has COVID.

0:11.7

Except me. I have tested Negewaggy every time I feel good. I feel great. Pimp is sitting over there. You might be able to see with the reflection with a seven dwarfs hat on and he's back to his his

0:22.7

Bane mask and he has lost another 15 pounds since I've seen him and here's I'm gonna look into the camera and I'm gonna tell you exactly what's gonna happen right now. Okay, Chrissy fatty pants bitch hips. That's me.

0:33.0

Ways 241 pounds. Okay, it is December 13th by June 13th. Chrissy D will be 201 pounds. I'm going to lose 40 pounds by June and then I'm gonna put it right back on by next December 13th.

0:47.7

So you're gonna see a 40 pounds swoop. I don't want to hear it. Listen, I appreciate all the support. I don't need anybody DMing me who's a nutritionist who's a fitness person who's anything that can help me do this. I don't give a shit. Okay, I'm doing it my way.

1:02.1

And I have a fitness person. I have a nutritionist and so far they haven't been working. So what can you do? I'm wearing my fat pits. I feel good.

1:10.4

The garage door is open to my neighbors and my neighbors can now hear the podcast. So we may not be living on this block for much longer because the block we live on is a very private block with a lot of members who I think are in the mafia right across the streets and around.

1:27.6

I think they're all connected in some way shape or form and it's bad enough that the first day I showed up with TT Jerry who was wearing a tank top.

1:37.7

A white tank top that was see through with her estrogen tits out. Blasting daddy, Anki as my family moved into the house and the neighbors were like what's going on? They started loading their shotguns.

1:48.3

So, but that's you know, that's all they saw. Right now we're doing the podcast opening because we're trying to get the COVID air fresh air, you know, out and people are starting to get really crazed about COVID.

2:03.3

And listen, it's in the house right now. Okay, my family member has it. They're fine. They're doing better. But it's like people don't know because now because I'm around a COVID positive person.

2:13.8

I'm being treated like you me and my family now will be treated like somebody who had AIDS in the 80s. COVID is the new AIDS. That's the new AIDS and it's. COVID is mainly being thrown around by the gay community. No, I'm kidding.

2:26.9

No, but COVID is the new AIDS in the way that you're, you know, people you feel very ashamed when you get it. People put their heads down. I don't understand why you have to keep your COVID diagnosis private.

2:40.6

But if you're around people that have COVID, they can pass it. Shouldn't you be legally obligated to have to tweet out or put COVID on your front door.

2:48.8

So people know you have it. But instead we play this game that doesn't make any sense. The rules don't make any sense because the same people who are being like, hey, you need to get a test. You need to do this. You need to do that. You need to do this.

2:59.7

Are like also going out every night with no mass drinking and partying until five o'clock in the morning. But because I'm living with someone that tested positive for COVID recently, they're like, oh, but stay away from me. I'm like, but are you checking yourself about what you're doing?

3:12.6

Maskless activities with God knows who's vaccinated. Who's not every time you step outside, you are in risk of getting COVID. All right, we're going to have to start just living our lives that way.

3:22.5

Every time you step outside, you are taking a risk. That's what it is. Live with it. I'm living it. If you can't live with it by now, if you can't just say, I'm going to go outside and I possibly make it COVID.

3:34.2

If you say, if you're the person that says, instead of going outside, I'm just going to stay inside because I don't want to get COVID. You're a fucking pussy loser. And I want you to wear a mask around me, whether you have COVID or not, because I don't want to get your pussy in my face.

3:48.1

That's what I'm done with people being such scared little bitches about it. What do you think? I mean, what do you think's going to happen? There's viruses wherever you go. There's bacteria wherever you go. Put on a mask.

4:00.5

The people are the most scared of the people who got two vaccines and a booster. What are you scared of? It's like having sex with a condom and worrying if you got an STD or the girl pregnant. You didn't because you wear a condom unless it poked through and listen unless your cock poked through a condom. And it might have just like you could be a breakthrough case. You could be a breakthrough case. But get over it, dude. And start looking at and do that start looking at people, you know what the plague is? Self reflection. People are not self reflecting enough. They're just attacking others.

4:30.2

For all these different things are just attacking others without looking in the mirror. You're saying to someone, hey, you have COVID stay away. But I'm going to go out and drink and party on. I would know, mask on. So it doesn't when does it when when does the algorithm when does it all add up because it doesn't to me because I'm sitting there being like, hey, we're all taking risk.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Chris Distefano, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Chris Distefano and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.