Episode 99 - Dick on Happy Accidents
The Dick Show
Dick Masterson
4.7 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 24 April 2018
⏱️ 167 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Happy little protests, Bob Ross can't paint a cabin to save his life, Ben from Drunken Peasants calls in, my own banned words list, experience creep, my only weakness, a premature movement for robot rights, problems with the conveniences of an automatic car, being worth less than nothing, Bill Guy the Science Dude answers your questions, drinking urine, "Sh*t Talker" gets an upgrade, getting bored while jerking off, Pavlov's nut, an annual YouTube Bloodsport tournament, free black coffee at Starbucks, and the Uncucked Episodes of "The Biggest Problem in the Universe"; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Have you ever seen Bob Ross draw a cabin? I don't think so. Oh my wait I'm going to talk about that okay. Are you really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 0:06.5 | You're gonna shit on like a beloved American icon? Listen to me. I mean you've had some lows before. |
| 0:15.0 | God. |
| 0:17.0 | Yeah! |
| 0:20.0 | Yeah! |
| 0:21.0 | You want... Yeah, you want Dick, you want Dick, you need Dick, you love Dick, you got it. |
| 0:27.0 | The show where everything is a contest, everything is a contest coming to you live, |
| 0:32.0 | from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the |
| 0:33.6 | city of failure I'm your host took master's in the 20 million dollar man with me as |
| 0:37.4 | always as Sean the audio engineer hello day day what's up buddy Bob Ross yeah |
| 0:41.3 | cannot draw a straight line to save his |
| 0:43.5 | fucking life. |
| 0:44.6 | Every time, I watch, look, |
| 0:46.2 | 420 happy this week, so I watched a lot of Bob Ross. |
| 0:49.0 | Let me explain that to you. |
| 0:50.3 | It's on Twitch 24 hours a day. Yeah, that's all I do now is watch what just have twitch on |
| 0:56.3 | You don't have to pay attention. You don't accidentally get sucked into it because it's just I've been watching one guy try to beat or I've been watching one guy beat |
| 1:04.3 | Ninja Guyden in 12 minutes for like 20 hours this week this fucking guy Arcus he's |
| 1:09.9 | just always beating Ninja Gaiden that's all he does just sit there beating Ninja Gaiden, Guyden. |
| 1:13.0 | That's all he does, just sit there beating Ninja Giden |
| 1:15.0 | for like eight hours a day, and I have him on. |
| 1:18.0 | It's not old yet, huh? |
... |
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