Episode 93 - Dick on Heather S

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2018

⏱️ 133 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

An altercation with a cliche on International Women's Day, why no one goes to sporting events, The Dodgers commit Opening Day ticket extortion, Peach sends in her greatest Jass number yet, the effect of weed on the police, Grant Mooney has a new podcast, Nick Rekieta Bible-splains to me, why Rucka will never be on this show, Martin Shkreli makes people happy, more sure-fire pickup lines from America's Wingman, and Maddox admits to impersonating "Heather S" [in an attempt to destroy Asterios' career]; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Presenting Dick. Dick.
0:14.0	Ready.
0:15.0	Yeah!
0:17.0	Yeah!
0:18.0	Yeah!
0:20.0	Yeah!
0:21.0	You want Dick! You need Dick, you love Dick, you got it.
0:25.0	Welcome to the only show where everything is a contest coming to you live
0:30.0	from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure. I am your host
0:34.8	Dick Masters and also known as the 20 million dollar man. The 20 million
0:40.9	man with me as always is Sean the audio engineer.
0:43.7	Hello Dick. Hey what's up buddy the 20 million.
0:46.2	Thank you. They're gonna call me I'm gonna develop a legend like Jack and the
0:50.3	what was what was the Mickey Mouse cartoon where the guy kills seven in one
0:54.7	stroke where Mickey kills seven flies in one stroke and then it turns everybody
0:59.4	starts thinking that he killed a bunch of giants.
1:02.8	It's this town, you remember that one?
1:04.6	Yeah, that's an old one.
1:06.8	Yeah, I don't know why, I've always, like for some,
1:09.2	you know, kids cartoons,
1:10.9	I forgot about that.
1:11.5	You remember them because of the pure terror that you feel
	...

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