Episode 460 - Dick on The Fear

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 12 May 2025

⏱️ 105 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My hearing blows out, Kanye releases a funny song, homelessness is solved with a new invention, Pakistan saves the Internet from India, Reddit gets experimented on, nitrous, Maddox wins the "Retard of the Month" award, Vito gets banned from Hackamania, statues of fat Black women pop up all over the Earth, and how many Mexicans does it take to restart a water heater; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Oh, Johnny, I have the fear.
0:03.7	The fear?
0:04.6	I have the fear.
0:06.1	Oh, no.
0:07.1	What maladies have you been inflicted with this?
0:09.0	Oh, man, bad maladies.
0:10.9	Let me tell you.
0:11.8	It's been two weeks since I've seen you, man.
0:13.6	Have you been?
0:14.8	I've been out for about 500 years.
0:18.2	Yeah, I feel like God has kept us apart for a very specific reason. Well,
0:21.8	somebody did. I made a lot of deals with the devil this week. I got bad news. And I don't have
0:28.0	the money for it. I don't have the, I don't have the ass for it. I made a lot of deals with that
0:34.0	guy. You didn't even see you. Hey devil. Hey devil, if you could just give me my hearing back, I'll do.
0:40.2	I got a whole, I thought I would catch the devil on his heels, you know?
0:43.2	Right.
0:44.4	You don't want to wait for the devil to come to you.
0:46.4	Yeah, next thing you know, there's two drones flying in your backyard looking at your deck again.
0:50.5	That's, that's when you, that's when you go to God. God waits, you go to God.
0:55.9	God's a very patient, man.
0:57.4	Yeah, you got to catch the devil while he's sleeping.
1:01.5	Rouse him from his sleep.
	...

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